Hello
Nate43 and welcome to bpdfamily
I'm sorry what brings you here, though glad you found our parents support group here at bpdfamily for help, parents who understand what you and your family are going through, you are not alone. Your daughter's husband and 7 year old daughter are suffering and wish to leave your daughter and you understandably wish to protect your young granddaughter from your daughter's behaviours.
Can you share a little more about your daughter, what behaviours are you dealing with, what's happening, so our parents know how best to support you? It's encouraging your daughter is seeing a counsellor, you say they are not encouraging her to take an assessment, did your daughter tell you that, do you think she my be open to engaging in treatment? Has your daughter spoken with you about her struggles?
One thing we do is to read through all the resources here in our good time. At the top of this board you'll see the thread Lessons: What can a parent do, and to your

right are tools and lessons (some DBT based), the tools help us sharpen our communication skills with our loved one, in fact anyone. Listen with Empathy and Validate the Valid will especially help you support your granddaughter and her feelings about what's happening around her. With these resources you'll learn how to personally move forwards as we learn we can't fix others, change their behaviour only they can do that.
How are you coping Nate43? I can imagine you are very worried by the uncertainty all around you right now. We can help by walking with you as you go forwards, we are listening.
WDx