Separation, divorce, annulment (Catholic discussion)

[empath]

Hi BetterLanes, it is challenging to sort through all the church theology related to the sacramental aspect of marriage on top of addressing the practical daily living in the middle of a relationship that is emotionally destructive. I know, I've been there. I've wrestled with what submission looks like biblically (not just what women are taught - but how did Jesus and the disciples do it). I've read TEDM, and many other books about how to work through difficult relationships.

As far as church, I'm anglican (we have a sacramental view of marriage and the Eucharist) - and I'm "fluent" in other theological views, like baptist. One the areas that I had to come to terms with was how to think theologically about the covenant and sacrament of marriage. I'll be honest, there aren't a lot of good resources out there for it. I have read the information from the USCCB about the causes for annulment, and there seems to be an acceptance that abuse is a valid ground for annulment. I also have a friend who went through RCIA a couple of years ago and who was divorced many years ago and has remarried. She is working through the process to get her former marriage annulled on the emotional immaturity ground (her ex was abusive).

One of the books that I read comes to mind, though. It is "Second Chance" by Ray Sutton. It's fairly old, but he comes at the issue of divorce from a sacramental viewpoint. It was very helpful for me to read through the book.

I'll be praying for you; it's a hard road to walk.

[BetterLanes]

Thanks Formflier and Empath!

Empath, yes it is confusing isn't it. A problem is that a lot of the material, especially Catholic, is targeted at the already divorced and remarried like your friend. The main concern regarding the currently married seems to be avoiding pre emptive adultery by someone who thinks the marriage is invalid. It's all kind of after the fact. Pope Francis in Amoris Laetitia does acknowledge this and says the church has been all about the avoiding sin angle and not so much about the assisting troubled couples.

Formflier, she does say to eat out, but that's fairly unusual for us and the UK, we probably eat out only once every couple of months. So I just arranged the sleepover. In fact that fell through so my D is at home now in bed. But I was pumped after reading the book and decided to go ahead with the talk anyway. It was very strange. I have no clear idea what just happened or what happens next! I will post a new thread for it in a moment, it is quite hard typing on this device. You are right, it is about the long term and repeated behaviors, but I don't think I conveyed that adequately I guess. More in a minute.

BetterLanes x

[Harri]

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