Her perception skills are fantastic

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

I was at my gf last night and we were just talking about random stuff .In a playful banter way she brought up the comment “I know you are testing me right now”.Obviously I was taken a little aback from said comment I didn’t see it coming.Im not really testing her at all,I’m just on guard about they way she used to be and am taking things nice and slow.She picks up on stuff like this instantly,it frankly scares me how efficient she is at reading people .Has anyone come across comments like this from their SO? If so , did you let it roll off your shoulders like me or you persue the subject?

[Shawnlam]

I was at my gf last night and we were just talking about random stuff .In a playful banter way she brought up the comment “I know you are testing me right now”.Obviously I was taken a little aback from said comment I didn’t see it coming.Im not really testing her at all,I’m just on guard about they way she used to be and am taking things nice and slow.She picks up on stuff like this instantly,it frankly scares me how efficient she is at reading people .Has anyone come across comments like this from their SO? If so , did you let it roll off your shoulders like me or you persue the subject?

[pearlsw]

Hi Shawnlam,

Yes, it is amazing and scary when our partners are able to do this. Funny how in other instances their ability to read us is completely off, but there ya have it.

I find this pretty uncomfortable and try to steer out of these car crashes. I'm not always successful.

How do you feel about it? How do you want to react? Do you feel understood or just "read" by her?

take care, pearl.

[Shawnlam]

It took me off guard but besides that I felt more surprised she said it.No big deal was made about it ,she asked me what was this missing issue or obstacle I had that was preventing me from asking her to get married .I cracked a joke and we both laughed to avoid that whole subject entirely so it’s all good.Im spending the weekend away with her so hopefully that was the last of that conversation in it’s entirety.Those weird curve ball comments take you off guard a bit ,but it also goes to show you they analyze their partners very well and covert op like , kinda creepy but not a huge issue.

[once removed]

I cracked a joke and we both laughed to avoid that whole subject entirely

i think this might have been an opportunity to have a "relationship talk", get on the same page, where both parties know what to expect in the future, where things are heading.

it sounds to me like she was asking to have that talk... .asking you whats up, what youre hesitant about. avoiding it, i think, sends a message that her concerns are correct, but youd rather not talk about it.

what about using this weekend to address it?

[pearlsw]

It took me off guard but besides that I felt more surprised she said it.No big deal was made about it ,she asked me what was this missing issue or obstacle I had that was preventing me from asking her to get married .I cracked a joke and we both laughed to avoid that whole subject entirely so it’s all good.Im spending the weekend away with her so hopefully that was the last of that conversation in it’s entirety.Those weird curve ball comments take you off guard a bit ,but it also goes to show you they analyze their partners very well and covert op like , kinda creepy but not a huge issue.

Oh Shawnlam, Shawnlam, Shawnlam,

Speaking as a woman... .no, man, this is not the last of this conversation. 

I'd bet money she will be ruminating and be upset and you will have a flare up in a week if you don't say "the right thing". Sorry to be the bearer of bad news buddy!

Sit yourself down, get clear in your head, be ready for this talk... .it's coming.

wishing you luck, pearl.

[SunandMoon]

Yes, my husband is very perceptive about situations and incredibly good at reading people. So much so that I often take him to meetings with me.

I tend to accept people at face value, whereas he has an uncanny ability to read people and be spot on in the long run. It's why, when we first got together, I thought he was an empath.   how ironic!

Speaking as a woman... .no, man, this is not the last of this conversation.  
Sit yourself down, get clear in your head, be ready for this talk... .it's coming. 

Sorry shawnlam, best be prepared! 

[Shawnlam]

Well the conversation did come up again,but in a good fashion, wherein I explained exactly why .Right now though things are going very well, better than it’s ever been between us.I think her therapy and my therapy play huge roles into how things are going.Plus my confidence and self esteem are at all time highs.I don’t get anxiety at all when she’s not around me ,I actually enjoy my time to myself to do my own things .I don’t think about her at all when I’m off doing my stuff it’s an     Incredible feeling to be fairly independent now.Its also makes for our time together much more appreciated as far as I’m concerned!

[pearlsw]

Hi Shawnlam,

I'm happy to hear this! Never miss a moment to enjoy life! 

Great that you are feeling so strong - that makes such a big difference. What kinds of things do you do to help you not worry so much may I ask?

take care, pearl.

[once removed]

Well the conversation did come up again,but in a good fashion, wherein I explained exactly why .

so what was the explanation? howd it go? howd she react?

[Shawnlam]

We approached it casually alone the lines of proper normal relationships progression.I just told her I need time to see the changes in both of us before developing this relationship to any extent in the marriage range.She understood as well that time tells a proper story and reacting on impulse or emotions solely is a bad idea .We agreed to let things flow naturally

[SunandMoon]

Well done Shawnlam!

That sounds like the perfect response for where you are in your relationship now. Great that she took it in this way too!

It seems like everything is going really well with you both. So good to hear positive stories here!