Some levity for everyone

[Hyacinth Bucket]

Warning - if you are offended easily by things related to sex probably would be better not to read this.

My friends tell me I should write a comic strip about being a mom to my daughter. There have been many horrible painful times but my daughter does have a great sense of humor and enjoys laughing at herself. She also says and does ridiculous/hilarious things all the time. When she first came to live with us, we'd go to Target and she'd get to the pharmacy section and yell "hey Mom! Don't you need some butt cream for that thing on your butt?" She tells everyone that no one can embarrass her because she is already so embarrassing. It's pretty true.

So here are a couple of 'routine' anecdotes for you. I hope you all find these as funny as I do. For people not familiar, we adopted my daughter at 17 and I am only 13 years older than her, so while I am very much her mom, she is also incredibly open with me in a way that most teen girls are not with their mothers. She is also more open about most things than anyone I've ever met, so I guess it comes with the territory.

I'm sure all parents on here can appreciate the moment of abject horror that first came when these happened, followed in retrospect by the true absurdity/hilarity of these situations.

1) About 6 months into her living with us, still as her foster parents, I was washing the dishes and she walked in to the kitchen. She stood there for a couple of minutes looking at me and then blurted out, "Mom, can women get liposuction on their vaginas?"  I wasn't quite so used to her insane openness so I just said, "why do you think I would know the answer to that? Google it, you silly kid."

2) About six months ago when she was still living an hour away, I went to take her to lunch. She wasn't feeling well so we went through a drive through and drove around a bit. Again out of nowhere, she blurted out, "I really want to get these cute little Swarovski crystals on my incisors." I almost spit out my drink and started laugh-crying, and finally managed to get out, "Sweetie, are you saying you want a grill?" She was mock-horrified, and said, "no, they're teeny tiny, just these little tiny crystals you get glued to your teeth." I had to pull over because I couldn't stop laughing and was totally thrilled at the opportunity to tease her about getting a grill for a half hour.

3) Today she texted me a photo of her computer monitor, and the picture on the monitor was turned sideways. She couldn't figure out how to rotate it back. She said something to the extent of, "I was just trying to watch some porn and this happened!" So I explained to her how to fix it, and then said, "well now you go enjoy your pornographies." She thought that was hilarious.

4) We were out at a nice dinner maybe 6 months into her living with us, and for the first time ever I had an alcoholic drink in front of her. I rarely drink and was a little tipsy. We both had to go to the bathroom so we started walking over together, and halfway there she blurted out, "I rode the brown train!"  I gagged a little and asked her if that meant what I thought it meant. She said, "yes, I had butt sex!" In the middle of the restaurant. I grabbed her hand and pulled her into the bathroom. I was speechless. What do you say to that? Yes, later at home we had a serious conversation about it and being safe. But really! Why did she have to pick right then to tell me!

She also recently asked me if I was surprised when she became a stripper, and I said, "no, I saw it coming like a d*** freight train, but that didn't mean I was in any way prepared for it." She thought that was pretty funny.

By embracing her as she is, we have gotten so close to her and can talk about most anything. She is finally learning to censor herself around me because I really would prefer not to know half the things she tells me. Ignorance really is bliss sometimes. ha.

The mid-30s part of me thinks these things are hilarious and the "mom" half of me is just mortified. I make this frowny face at her that she calls "Mom face." She really enjoys telling me things to try to get me to make "Mom face." haha.

I hope you all have a great weekend and can find something to laugh at today.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[GaGrl]

Oh, my dear... .I can do relate! My DH and his ex (the uNPD/BPD we call " The Dark Princess) adopted her niece from Thailand when the childcare almost 14. By that point, she was encouraged as Thai, which has a very different values system from our American culture.

My DR did her best to finish high school in the U.S. but decided to strip at a local club. It was very difficult for my DH, who had hoped for more from the adoption.

Fortunately, 20 years later, all is good - the Ex has little of no influence on this DR and we are the primary parents/grandparents.

Patience is a virtue ( with occasional primal screams in the closet).

[Merlot]

Hi hyacinth bucket

My high functioning DD27, with low EI where almost everything is about her... .

I was attending court with her to assist with my GD1, she had been in tears most of the morning with the stress of family court proceedings but somehow she can always manage a glowing selfie - this one she wanted to have with me out the front of the courthouse.  Tears one minute and smiling brilliantly the next she took the shot of the two of us.

Of course it went onto FB.  When I saw it, I couldn't help but think my angled posturing beside her made it look as though I had only one breast in the middle of my chest (the other and left arm, hidden behind her in the photo).  My husband and I laughed about it.

When I next saw my DD I remarked that the photo was not the greatest, she looked at it and said "oh yeah, I've got a really dark bag under my left eye"

Enough said but it was funny.

Merlot

[wendydarling]

Oh HB  

You are doing an amazing job to connect with your DD, every time you post I go yep, she's learning from you! Bring on that Mama face, she's reading you and she clearly loves you deeply, you are slowly showing her the way, reigning her into a safe place gently.

Patience is a virtue ( with occasional primal screams in the closet).

Oh yes, loved this let's all do it together Gargl  

WDx