50 Year Old Daughter With BPD

[streaker]

Needing help as I am losing it.   My sense of self, health, empowerment, and self- control because of the stress dealing with my fifty year old daughter who has what I believe to be BPD, substance abuse, crises in her life, her frequent threats of suicide, her verbal abuse and threats to kill me thru the years are taking their toll on me.
Her acting act behavior is frequent, flips hourly, she can be apologetic and guilt ridden, proclaiming her love for me, saying it is not my fault, then will turn on me with the most painful accusations and angry outbursts.  I have set boundaries and banned her from coming into our home (husband/father) in the past.  She has had several life-altering events of trauma so Complex PTSD is a diagnosis, as well as depression and anxiety.  She is unable to work, and her living situation is distressing to her and myself.  She does not live with us and hasn't for thirty years.  She is my daughter and I love her, she begged me to find help for her over a month ago, she does not use a computer, I searched treatment for her, but because of her instability they did not accept her.  My life, emotions, and physical pain level seems to be dependent on how she is doing in her day to day crisis and the abuse she throws upon me.  I do have some support and tools for self-healing, however, when it is so bad I cannot carry on with these activities.  I feel that I cannot go on like this and it is killing me.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Feeling Better]

Hello streaker 

Welcome to bpdfamily

I’m so sorry to hear that you are struggling at the moment with your fifty year old daughter. You have been dealing with her behaviour for such a long time now, no wonder it’s taken it’s toll on you, especially if you have your own health issues to deal with too.

What does your support currently look like streaker? How much contact are you currently having with your daughter?

You are in the right place to receive help and support, you are not alone and I look forward to hearing more from you x 

[Merlot]

Hi streaker

I join Feeling Better in welcoming you here 

Im sorry that youve been dealing with such difficult circumstances for such a long time and you sound exhausted.

Our parental responsibilities are severely tested with BPD as we try and support our children in taking responsibility for themselves.

The disorder sees them stuck in emotionally maturing.

There is a wonderful link on the board about Detaching with Love. While she does not live with you and you have some boundaries, I can hear that her behaviour is still having a significant impact on you.

Given the longevity, do you have some support? We will be here for you to ralk anytime you need.

Look after yourself 
Merlot