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Author Topic: My adult daughter may have BPD  (Read 438 times)
P1
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Posts: 2


« on: September 10, 2018, 10:11:10 PM »

My 39yr old daughter is exhibiting signs of BPD. Looking back the signs first starting showing about 2yrs ago during a stressful time in her life. Slowly but surely she has turned all family members against me. As of 3 months ago she has gone no contact with me. She is a textbook case of BPD in my (her mother) opinion. Since she has gone no contact I send her a text once every 2 weeks just telling her I love and miss her. Sometimes asking her to forgive me.  My question is should I continue to send her these texts? Do they help or harm her?
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Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Other
Relationship status: "Divorced"/abandoned by SO in Feb 2014; Mother with BPD, PTSD, Depression and Anxiety: RIP in 2021.
Posts: 12179


Dad to my wolf pack


« Reply #1 on: September 10, 2018, 11:03:56 PM »

How does she respond?
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    “For the strength of the Pack is the Wolf, and the strength of the Wolf is the Pack.” ― Rudyard Kipling
P1
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Posts: 2


« Reply #2 on: September 11, 2018, 05:33:11 AM »

She does not respond. She has been absolutely NO contact for 3 months.
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bluek9
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Posts: 257


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« Reply #3 on: September 11, 2018, 03:10:20 PM »

 Welcome new member (click to insert in post) welcome P1

       You ask a question so many parents ask here. It's so hard to know what to do, as parents we want so much for them know we love them, yet the hurt with no contact runs deep. I've never had to ask that question My D has always lived with me. If I were faced with it I would definitely maintain some kind of contact. Like you're already doing. Just a note, a text telling her I love her, miss her, ask her if she needs anything. For me the one thing I would not do is ask for forgiveness. I know that sounds cold but, I can say I know I didn't cause my d's illness, I didn't do anything to add to her perception of fear and pain. Just be there for her, she needs to know that a least one person in the world cares about her, no matter how mean she may be. I would suggest reading a few books. I started with "I hate you, don't leave me". It was like reading my own story, it changed so many things for me.   Sending you hugs, we are here for you. I'm sure another parent will come along who has been through no contact, to share with you too.
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   H:healing, O:options, PE:positive encouragement
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