New here... stepmom to kids with uBPDmom

[LightAtTheEnd]

Hey, guys. I found this site about a month ago and I’ve lurked a bit... .and feel so grateful and validated by what I’ve read already. I learned about this site in Stop Walking On Eggshells thanks to my counselor recommending it. My husband’s ex-wife is obviously the topic of conversation in our sessions, and my counselor has a sister with BPD, so (after giving us the disclaimer that she can’t diagnose her without having met her) she recommended the book along with Understanding The Borderline Mother for my sweet SD11 and SS7’s sake.

Since getting married over a year ago, the “friendship” that I had with uBPDmom flipped on its head, and we have had so much chaos to deal with on a weekly, sometimes daily, basis. We have a baby and I have kids from a previous marriage and we try to keep interactions as minimal as possible for the sake of a peaceful life as a new blended family. Anyway, I don’t want to ramble too much in only my first post.  

Thanks for listening and for all of the wisdom and experience you’ve all shared already.

[livednlearned]

Welcome and hello  

You're in the right place, pull up a chair and ramble all you want!

We want to hear everything  

How are the step kids doing with the adjustment? Are they with you the same time you have your kids?

What kind of chaos is happening daily?

[worriedStepmom]

Welcome, and congratulations on your still very recent marriage and baby!

I'm also a stepmom of an SD11 with a uBPDmom.  So much fun! 

What kind of custody schedule does your H have?

[kells76]

Glad you found us, LightAtTheEnd! This can be a safe place to just let out a lot that maybe you can't let out anywhere else. I hope you are able to make some time for yourself now and then to take care of you -- for me, that's tough to do with all the chaos and kid stuff.

Keep us posted on how we can help (or how we can just listen)... .

kells76

[Panda39]

Hi LightAtTheEnd,

I want to join all the other stepmoms and say welcome to the BPD Family 

I'm glad you decided to jump in and post.  When you have the time I hope you will share more of your story.

What are you struggling with most at the moment?

Panda39

[soundofmusicgirl]

Welcome. I am also a stepmother. Even though my role as such has been greatly undermined and reduced by their bio mom.

Understanding the borderline mother was also the first book that a therapist gave us  It was eye opening!

[Klera]

Welcome LightAtTheEnd 

   I'm a stepmom too, to girl 15, boy 14.    I hope we can help, there's a lot of advice and support here!

Cheers,
Klera