Don't go underwater from your support group just because things improve

[once removed]

ive seen a lot of this lately: "things had been better/stable so i hadnt posted in a while"

the problem with posting in crisis/when things go bad, is that usually a level of damage is already done, sometimes irreparably, and in that case, support at best might look like trying to undo that, or to simply help cope.

the great thing about posting in calmer/more stable times is that you have options. you can go back and look at how you might have done other things differently. you can focus on learning new concepts and approaches. you can grow from the foundation youve built on, and determine where youd like to see your relationship with your child go, or set goals, or you can anticipate and plan around difficult periods that might be coming.

not to mention, you can share your hope with other parents who may be struggling.

having a child with BPD is stressful to say the least. its good to remain connected to a supportive community 

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[RedRyder]

Words of wisdom. Thanks!

[wendydarling]

Thanks Once, I echo RR, words of wisdom indeed. 27 December was my third anniversary here   and this last week with the new year here I've spent a lot of time reflecting and working through some of my personal goals as I'd got a bit lost and stuck, which I'll post about, so I'm glad you posted Once.

[Lollypop]

So timely OH.

I think you’re so right. I’d like to add the danger of getting into a cycle - I was on a 3 month stability always followed by a meltdown. This was a pattern we lived with for years before finding the forum.

Being stable is THE time to post in my opinion. Reflection is so very important, particularly when you’ve got the headspace that’s not filled with chaos or crisis.

LP

[Only Human]

Thanks for the reminder, OR!

Things are calm here these past few days and I'm tempted to take a break from all things BPD, even considered pushing my therapy appointment out a couple of weeks.

I won't.

~ OH

[wendydarling]

OH

Have you thought your therapy sessions can be non BPD, if you choose, you can sit there, even lie on the floor and be mindful for a whole super, uninterrupted hour, not say a word and feel relief!  

Wise move to keep them! Precious moment, time.

WDx

[Only Human]

Hi WD 

I have never thought of that, no. A whole hour of mindfulness? I've never tried that, sounds impossible, or like I'd fall asleep, .

~ OH

[Huat]

Wonderful topic to start, Once Removed. 

While I am not as busy on this forum as I used to be and there are times when I do need to take little breaks, I still come back for the reasons you so eloquently wrote about.  I think it is so important for Newbies to read posts that are written when one is not in crisis. There has to be some buoyancy to give hope... .not all doom and gloom here.

I must say that I do feel sad when it dawns on me that one moniker or another  that used to pop up... .are no longer heard from... .that virtual-connection I had with them seems to be no more.

It is always gratifying, though, when a Newbie does come on board... .and becomes a "regular."

Well... .different-strokes-for-different-folks.  I think we can all attest to the fact that life can get in the way of plans.   Meanwhile, I'm glad to be part of this healing community.

Huat

[Only Human]

As they say in Al-Anon (and probably AA and all the other "anonymous"-es), "Keep coming back! It works if you work it! So work it because you're worth it!"

~ OH

[wendydarling]

So true OH    
I'm still working it