Hi 36wishes
Welcomed to the bpdfamily

Just in a single sentence, I can hear that you are hurting a great deal.
I agree, it can be very difficult to admit/share that life is something other than what you want it to be. For me, it left me feeling very vulnerable and exposed.
I came here in crisis about 10 months ago and have found the support of parents here to be unwavering. So Im glad you are here with us.
Are you able to share a little more about your circumstances. It will help us to guide the conversation. There is also much information on the board to the right

Take good care of yourself and we look forward to hearing from you.
Merlot