Help please, the lies manipulation out of control, she threatens to kill herself

[Parentingishard]

Hello, it’s my first time here! My daughter has BPD, and I’m completely at a loss how to handle her or help her. The lies and manipulation are out of control. She lacks accountability and threatens to kill herself. It breaks my heart, and I feel like I’m doing everything wrong. any advice?

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[once removed]

hi Parentingishard, and

im glad you reached out.

any advice?

yes. for starters, stick around, and make yourself part of the family here. a strong support system is critical, and it sounds like youre having a really hard time.

second, tell us more. how old is your daughter? is she diagnosed? whats going on right now between you and her?

[Feeling Better]

Hello Parentingishard,

Your screen name says it all, yes, parenting is hard, and add BPD into the mix and it becomes super hard.

I am so sorry to hear that you feel at a complete loss knowing how to handle or help your daughter, I know just how you feel. You have come to the right place, we have lots of resources here that can help you get to a better place with your daughter.

How are things at the moment? There are lots of parents here who understand what you are going through, you are not alone x  
 

[Meredith0711]

Hi parentingishard,

How old is your daughter?

I understand the chaos lying and the manipulation brings. It makes you feel like you are crazy. My heart goes out to you.

What is going on at this time? Is she in treatment? Do you have a support system?

You will find support here.

[Momofadultbpd]

Please check out my thread about ketamine and DBT. I am Momof adultBPD. Your daughter seems to have the same behaviors as my daughter. When she is upset and doesn’t get her way she threatens to kill herself unless demands are met.

She is halfway through a 2 Week  ketamine treatment program. She has had only one meltdown during this period and never once mentioned killing herself. That was HUGE. She starts DBT when she finishes the ketamine. It’s a 5 week program and she goes everyday.

I have already started reading about DBT and have already seen results using its tools on my daughter. She doesn’t even realize I’m Doing it yet since she hasn’t started the course. I am
Just learning about the techniques on my own

The most valianle thing I have done is watch dr Fruzzettis video on Validating on Families. It’s in the TOOLS link on this website. I’ve watched it 4 Times this week. It has already helped
Me immensely and things have seemed to turn around with my interaction with my daughter.

It turns out that I wasn’t Validating her feelings of suicide. It’s A fine line between VALIDATING and condoning. I do validatel but I don’t condone. So far it has made a significant difference in how we interact.

I can’t recommend dr Frizzettis video enough.

Please keep us posted.

Good Luck.
MomofadultBPD