Learning, granddaughter diagnosed bipolar with BPD tendencies

[Fossil49]

Our Granddaughter has been diagnosed bipolar with borderline tendencies.  We (my wife and I ) are reading as much as possible and learning as much as we can regarding the disorder.  Our granddaughter is currently enrolled at a therapeutic boarding school and seems to be making slow progress.  At some point she will return home and we need to be ready to help her move forward.
This is scary for us but this child is very special as well.  any thoughts are appreciated.  

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Only Human]

Hello Fossil49  

Welcome to BPD Family, you've come to the best place to learn and get support while you help your granddaughter move forward. I trust the articles, workshops, and posters here above anything I've read by googling.

How old is your granddaughter and does she live with you?

~ OH

[LoveOnTheRocks]

One of the things I really admire about grandparents is their ability to recognize (often) how special their grandchildren are.  My own parents are the same, being very committed to my DD19 with BPD.  While I have many struggles, because I've lived with this child, who (and this is my story, not necessarily yours) has caused a great deal of turmoil and stress in my life and household, my parents have been relatively removed from the day to day, and are so good with my child.  

If you have any specific questions, comments or concerns we might address, it would be great in assisting us with giving you feedback.  You already know that progress is going to be slow, as you made reference to it in your OP. Another thing that comes to my mind is the fact that there are times when things are really great, and there will also be times when they aren't.  Knowing the mental illness is present is sinking in for me now, which is really starting to help me understand why she does and doesnt do things that I expect.  I am getting more patience just knowing that her decisions are often prefaced by her thoughts, which could be coming from anywhere at the time she makes them, so while I want to help her make effective decisions, I am learning not to get so undone when she doesn't.  

I am also learning compassion... .I thought I was compassionate, but I've learned I am less than I wish I were.  It's a fact that I am pretty great when things around me are pretty great, but when someone comes from out in left field on me, I am and have been too reactive.  I am learning to give my DD19 and myself both a break, and not get so wound up when I see things aren't going the way I think of as normal... .we aren't dealing with normal now... .FINALLY, I am coming to terms with that.

How old is your granddaughter?  

[wendydarling]

Hello Fossil49

Along with Only Human and LoveOnTheRocks I welcome you to family.  

What happened in the run up to RTC, what behaviours are you dealing with, will help parents support you. My understanding (I'm in the UK) is when they are ready to come home, a handover and plan, support is put in place. If you are worried managing her return, perhaps raising this now may help, assure you, what's ahead, while you're learning and gaining support you need here with us.

Are the parents, there for her?

As LotR says it's a step forward, back, that is progress Only Human we're all here learning together, doing our very best, when we do, they do.

What are you reading, I ask as I felt my way to learning, to understand my DD, she is a quiet person with BPD, some literature didn't hit the spot. I had to dig deep.

WDx  

[Fossil49]

Long story short... .GD is just 17, has been with us for about two years as she did not function well at home.  She began going off the rails about 9 months ago.  Symptoms seemed be getting worse, behaviors, bad choice of friends, stealing, lying etc.  It finally got to the point where I knew we could not help her, we did not have the skills.  We suspected some form of mental health issue but she was never diagnosed.  Now in a program, she was put through a full workup and the results were Bipolar with BPD tendencies.  7 months in the program and finally showing signs of improving.  We have read, "Stop Walking on Egg Shells", as well as "Leadership and Self Deception", "Late Lost and Unprepared" and seek info via internet.  I know its a process and she will probably have setbacks but we simply are trying to help her become a functional adult.  Thanks for reaching out.  F49