Default Judgment?

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Can anyone explain what a default judgment in a divorce means?

The way I'm reading it is that if one party doesn't respond the other party gets what was requested. Does that seem right?
TMD

[toomanydogs]

Can anyone explain what a default judgment in a divorce means?

The way I'm reading it is that if one party doesn't respond the other party gets what was requested. Does that seem right?
TMD

[worriedStepmom]

Generally, that is what it means.

We had a default judgement on my H's custody modification petition this summer.  His xW did not show up in court, did not file any paperwork with the court in response to the issue, and did not have a lawyer on file who could respond.

There are generally rules or guidelines about response times in certain phases of the case, and if the other party has a lawyer of record, there will be some deference to them, as they are expected to be talking to their client.

[ForeverDad]

Every court decision often includes a footnote at the end detailing how many days either person can seek reconsideration, object to, or appeal the decision, typically anywhere from 10 (business days?) to 30 days.

Don't wait until the last day.  Not only could you miscount but our dear member david ran afoul of a game-playing judge.  The judge kept indicating the ruling against him would be reconsidered (lessened) so he delayed filing an appeal.  Finally, late on the last day the judge said no.  So he rushed to file his appeal but the place he went to said he had to file somewhere else and when he got there they had already closed.  He was stuck with a bad judgment.

Another thought... .As LnL would say, Court is always willing to give the misbehaving spouse "another bite of the apple".  His lawyers could delay the case, even appeal triggering more delays, all in hopes you will either cave in or miss completing some required paperwork.

However, on second thought, getting a nice default judgment where they 'lose' may be their way of avoiding exposure of whatever the family is hiding.  For that reason, leave a lot of claims on the table if that is their strategy.  (I'm hoping their "exit stage left" can't put the entire case on hold indefinitely.  For example, after all this time and agony can he withdraw his divorce petition?  Would that trigger a giant reset?)

[toomanydogs]

However, on second thought, getting a nice default judgment where they 'lose' may be their way of avoiding exposure of whatever the family is hiding.  For that reason, leave a lot of claims on the table if that is their strategy.  (I'm hoping their "exit stage left" can't put the entire case on hold indefinitely.  For example, after all this time and agony can he withdraw his divorce petition?  Would that trigger a giant reset?)

that's what I was wondering: whether FIL would prefer a default judgment. My L filed for a default judgment, and I was wondering about the implications.

FIL's actions make no sense to me. If he wants to sell the marital home, there needs to be a divorce; otherwise, I am the wife living in the marital home.

But... .If discovery were to uncover more than I was anticipating, he may very well prefer a default judgment.

Unfortunately, the way the court is backed up it may February or March before I know anything.

This sure has been an unpredictable past year or so.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!
 
TMD

[ForeverDad]

Not to sound a sour note... .but family or domestic courts have a lousy track record for enforcing their decisions.  You may get an order stating wonderful things but you need consequences built into the order from the very beginning to avoid endless returns to court.  (You may need to imprint that concept on your lawyer's consciousness somehow.)

If ____ is not completed by ____ date then  ____ consequence.  For example, the decision should include that if something is not complied with then you return to court and the court will (not "may") authorize you by court order to complete it.  Perhaps even... .Authorization to transfer the property, even vehicles, to your name and all furnishings other than ex's personal clothes, etc, are yours.  (Hopefully it is not mortgaged.)

Once your marriage passes the 10 year mark then you will also be entitled to claim SSA benefits based on his income history.  (No, SSA doesn't tell him about that possibility, it's strictly between you and SSA.)  You may not be able to do so until he reaches 62, so it may be a future option.

[formflier]

Here is the thing... .if you get the default judgment.  I'm hoping you will be over the moon happy since you asked for way more than you were willing to take.

Personally... I doubt you get a default judgment.  Many Ls just like to respond close to the deadline. 

FF

[toomanydogs]

Personally... I doubt you get a default judgment.  Many Ls just like to respond close to the deadline.  

FF

Hey FF,
  Happy Thanksgiving! I don't think I'll get a default judgment either. I was just trying to figure out what it was.
  And I need to clarify on my other post: It's my STBX that moved out of state. What I was worried about was that my FIL, who is responsible for managing payment of my interim support, would cut me off again. The way my head was working was that I was thinking that with STBX out of state, it would be unlikely that my STBX would thrown in jail for not paying support.
  I'm no longer "worried" about that; however, I've got a plan in the event my FIL does cut me off again as right now my FIL's actions are  inexplicable.
  Regarding the default judgment and lawyers working close to the deadline: It's not my FIL's lawyer who are causing the delay; it's my FIL. He's no longer cooperating with them. FIL's lawyers told my L to file a motion for fees because they told my L that they're unable to get FIL to listen to their advice.
  I don't get why my FIL is behaving like that, and when I don't get something, I tend to overthink and frighten myself.
  FIL's actions in this make no sense to me. He has never counter offered. STBX made one laughable counter offer, to which I then responded. But FIL has not. It seems to be in FIL's best interests (and mine) to move this thing forward.
  It's my understanding FIL wants to sell the marital home, but he can't do that until the divorce is wrapped up. And, as I understand landlord/tenant law, I also cannot be "evicted" as I'm not a tenant, I am the wife living in the marital home.
  So as I said, when someone's behavior is inexplicable, I try to figure it out, which way too often leads to a worst case scenario, and then I get scared. I'm no longer scared but prudent, and I have a plan. I tend to think that my FIL may be behaving as he is in an effort to keep me off-kilter. And it works. At least temporarily.
  This divorce could have been over months ago. Now, because of FIL, settlement facilitation has been cancelled, because my L can't proceed until payment is brought current. Everything is now at a standstill.
  Anyway, have a great Thanksgiving. My kids and grandkids will be over, and I'm looking forward to it.
 
TMD

[formflier]

My gut says he is trying to keep you and everyone else off balance by deliberately not playing by the rules.

Add more pressure... .find a way to make that possible.

FF

[david]

My ex delayed things in court a lot. She actually filed for divorce and it took over three years to get it finalized because of her delay tactics. I learned to use the time to gather more evidence and save for a rainy day. When we finally went through equitable distribution I had tons of evidence showing all her claims were false. I had a proposal that was in my favor and it was followed pretty much the way I presented it. I could have gone to trial and gotten more money but that would have meant being married for about 10 more months and several court appearances.

[formflier]

David,

Might be helpful for TMD for you to share your thoughts on how you decided to "take a deal"... vice press on to court.

Were you "happy" with the deal?  "Satisfied"? 

Have your feelings changed about it over time?

FF

[david]

We had to sell our house prior to the divorce in order to go through equitable distribution. Our house had a decent amount of equity in it because I put half down when we purchased it. Ex ran into trouble, during the marriage, with credit cards and we put that onto the house. It was around $40,000. The equity from the sale of the house was sitting in an escrow account.
During equitable distribution the minimum proposal in my head was a 70/30 split in my favor. My attorney went in with a 85/15 split proposal which he laid out prior to the conference. Her attorney starting attacking me after following my stbx lead.My atty stopped it. EX claimed I had stolen all the contents from in the house and valued it at 1.6 million dollars. The amount was closer to $25,000 but you probably can guess ex had a much higher valuation. She actually hand wrote four pages describing the things and their valuation. Funny thing about social media. I was still a friend of ex's and she had loads of pictures of most of the items she wrote down. I printed them out and my attorney had them. Was around 40 to 50 photos. My reply to ex's petition was to agree to the valuation and I just wanted my half in cash ($600,000). I knew it was not going to happen but I learned to negotiate from a position of strength and that is why I agreed to ex's valuation. When her attorney saw a few of the pictures ex and her attorney left the room to talk. Her attorney came back and offered a 70/30 split.  After her attorney stepped out my attorney said if we go to court he was very confident he could get at least an 80/20 split. I figured it would take around 10 more months to finalize the divorce and my attorney would get at least 60 percent of the extra proceeds. He agreed with my calculation. I said it was worth the money to be divorced the next day and I took the deal. I never regretted the decision and am glad I finalized it then and there.
Ex ran away in 2007 and filed for divorce. The next few years were the worst years of my life because of all the chaos and false allegations. We had two young children. If we didn't I would have moved to the other side of the country to get away from her. It was that bad. I thought we were divorced in 2010. Recently I needed to get our divorce decree for a house purchase. I told the mortgage company we were divorced in 2010. The divorce decree actually said 2012. That is how horrible it was.
I only communicate with ex through email. I never reply to anything that does not pertain to our boys. Our youngest is 15 and we have 50/50 custody. Our oldest moved out of his moms when he graduated high school. He lives with me. I have stepsons, they are ex's from her first marriage. We have a good relationship. One is total NC with his mom and the other is LC. Another has a substance abuse problem and doesn't talk to anyone except his mom.