Granddaughter 12 Glorifying her friends troubles,,

[lilbeth]

 

This is the best way I can explain it. I have custody of the 3 children for 4 yrs now.
The 12 yr old has a history of making things up to get someone in trouble if shes angry with them, but never me YET!

So we moved I bought a huge home for us all and they had to go to new schools. She has befriended 2 troubled girls.
She comes home telling us about CPS coming because they got hit etc, but children are not removed.

So Friday she came home and asked to go to one of thems home for a Bday party... .NOO

So she flipped out on me. Got in my face, she about my height, I never backed away or down from her, I told her she will not speak to me that way and she said "You cant touch me"
(I didnt)
Then she started talking about how I dragged her out of bed once by her hair... It never happend.

She tried to leave I wouldnt let her, then I told her IM DONE
I now know who she really is, all Ive sacrificed means nothing to her. She is just like her mother, shell throw me under a bus to
get attention and fit in with these girls. OF course she never mentions what the girls are doing to get in trouble...

My main concern now is these 3 girls together and the damage they can do... I am not sure how to proceed tomorrow.

Shes trying to kiss my butt at the moment but when she goes to school shell make ___ up. Shes known for it and people were here so Im not really worried about all of that shes just digging her grave, but I am very concerned that these 3 girls are a recipe for even bigger, worse things to happen and I think I need to warn someone I just hope they will listen,

AND do not worry Im not alone here, if she raises a hand shes out! She almost did

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[wendydarling]

Hi lilbeth  

Welcome to the family.  

I'm sorry you're going through a difficult time with your 12yr grandchild, you say she has a history of making things up to get someone in trouble if she angry with them. Right now you're concerned the girls together are a receipe for worse things to happen. What kind of things are you thinking of?

Is your daughter still in touch? How old are your other grandchildren, are they doing ok?

I'm glad to hear you have local support too.

Welcome again.

WDx

[lilbeth]

Well so far they have given her the courage to step up in my face... and scream theres nothing I can do about it.
She will do anything for them to think shes one of them. ANYTHING

The other 2 have their moments, especially the 14yr old but noone disrespects me. They love me and respect what I have to say when they are doing something that is not right.

Other kids are telling her they cant be her friend if shes hanging out with these 2 girls. She tells us stories of both girls being abused at home, CPS being called, but never mentions what the girls did to be in trouble.

When she was screaming at me she told me I dragged her out of bed once by her hair, that never happend.  Her counselor once told me she is delusional, now shes making things up to fit in with these girls.

Im just having a really bad feeling about the 3 of them together. Convincing themselves theres no consequences for anything.

I can tell you, her Mom is the diagnosed BPD, in our family, she shows signs but no diagnosis yet, but even her Mom, never went toe to toe with me, it was all behind my back. Even in court she couldnt lie in front of me. The only reason I know about her stories was from other people.  CPS calls etc
My youngest actually feared for my life with her sister living near me. AND this one the 12yr old seems unafraid to make me feel threatened, Im not afraid, but if she can stand up to me, believe me, shell not blink to do it to anyone else.

THAT IS MY FEAR

[lilbeth]

Mom is no contact at the moment.