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Son, Daughter or Son/Daughter In-law with BPD
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Introducing myself
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Topic: Introducing myself (Read 467 times)
FaithHopeLove
Retired Staff
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Relationship status: Shaky
Posts: 1606
Introducing myself
«
on:
December 21, 2018, 10:28:21 AM »
I have been posting here for about a month so maybe it is time to introduce myself. I am not sure if this is how to do it but here goes.
What type of relationship are you in? I am the mother of a 24 year old son diagnosed with BPD. He lives near us on his own.
Who else (if anyone), in child's family, has BPD? Nobody else in the family has been diagnosed with BPD but I had some BPD-like problems in my 20s.
What is your child's strongest quality? Great question! For once we are looking at the positive. I would say his strongest quality is his capacity for compassion (despite angry outbursts) and his intelligence and creativity.
What are the top challenges your child is facing?
His first and only gf of 8 years recently broke up with him. Also he is addicted to cannabis (which he sells)
What do you find most difficult in dealing with your child?
His fluctuating moods and black and white thinking
How would you categorize your child? Diagnosed? Undiagnosed?
(BPD, ADHD, PTSD, ASPD? Anxiety? Depressed?
Substance Abuse? Self-Harming? Other?)thinking
Diagnosed BPD ADHD substance abuse self harming
What do you struggle with yourself?
(Traits of a disorder? Low Self Esteem? Codependent?
Enabling? Depression? PTSD? Anxiety? Other?)harming
I suffer anxiety over my son but I am in therapy and getting better
Is anyone in therapy? Child? Parent(s)?
If so, what type(s)?
(Individual? Group? Family?
Dialectical Behavior Therapy? Other?
AA, Al-Anon? Residential Treatment Center?
Dual Diagnosis? Intensive Out Patient?)better
My son just quit an outpatient drug program. We are hoping he will join a DBT program that is available to him. My husband and I are both in individual therapy. We also to to Alanon.
What are your goals at bpdfamily.com?
To learn skills that will help me help my son and to also help myself to have a better life.
Logged
Our objective
is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to
learn the skills
to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders
Only Human
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Relationship status: divorced since the 90's
Posts: 1027
Love is still the answer
Re: Introducing myself
«
Reply #1 on:
December 21, 2018, 08:22:02 PM »
Hello FaithHopeLove,
Thanks for posting an introduction here, it helps us get to know each other better and know our children better as well.
Excerpt
What are your goals at bpdfamily.com?
To learn skills that will help me help my son and to also help myself to have a better life.
These things are possible and I'm really glad you're here as part of BPD Family
~ OH
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"It's our god forsaken right to be loved, loved, loved, loved."
-Jason Mraz, I'm Yours
Lollypop
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Posts: 1353
Re: Introducing myself
«
Reply #2 on:
December 22, 2018, 11:17:57 AM »
Hi FaithhopeloveKc
Welcome. I’m glad you’ve found us.
You’ve talked about the anxiety you feel and it’s greatvyiur in therapy to help you work through it. I came here when my son28 was 24 and being here has helped us immensely.
Does your son have a job or does he rely on his selling income? How long ago was the breakup?
Hugs
LP
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I did my best. He told me I wasn’t good enough. White
FaithHopeLove
Retired Staff
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Relationship status: Shaky
Posts: 1606
Re: Introducing myself
«
Reply #3 on:
December 24, 2018, 08:57:42 AM »
Hi LP. Thanks for your encouraging words
My son does not have a regular job. He makes money (a lot actually) selling weed, high end sneakers, and a few other things. He has an LLC (limited liability corporation.) In other words he really is an excellent businessman. Marijuana is about to be legalized here so we are hoping he will be able to "go legit."
The break up was very recent. He took it extremely hard to the point where he had to be hospitalized because his cutting was out of control. He seems more accepting of it now. Like most people with BPD relationships are challenging for him. But he knows my husband and I will always love him no matter what. I hope that will help him and serve as a base to build on as he forms other relationships.
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Only Human
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Relationship status: divorced since the 90's
Posts: 1027
Love is still the answer
Re: Introducing myself
«
Reply #4 on:
December 24, 2018, 11:49:19 AM »
Quote from: FaithHopeLove on December 24, 2018, 08:57:42 AM
he knows my husband and I will always love him no matter what. I hope that will help him and serve as a base to build on as he forms other relationships.
This is beautiful, FaithHopeLove. Your son is lucky to have his parents in his corner.
~ OH
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"It's our god forsaken right to be loved, loved, loved, loved."
-Jason Mraz, I'm Yours
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