My DS24dxBPD was robbed at gunpoint tonight. How can I help him

[FaithHopeLove]

So this morning I said all is well. Now it isn't. DS just got robbed and is very shaken up. Guess he is experiencing the downside of the illegal weed business. He got thrown out of his apartment over it. I don't think I can face him living here. I

But I guess the main thing is he is still alive

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Only Human]

Hi FHLKC,

How are you holding up while you wait for his arrival?

~ OH

[FaithHopeLove]

I managed to stay calm while he was here but now I am falling apart. He is very paranoid now
 Almost delusional. I never saw him like this

[FaithHopeLove]

So my DS24dxBPD the weed dealer was robbed at gunpoint tonight in his apartment by "customers".who came in through the balcony. He is physically OK but super paranoid to the point of getting delusional. How can I help him calm dow

[Music Ace]

FHLKC - I wish I had words of wisdom. All I can offer is words of support, a virtual hug, and more questions.

Validate validate validate and no judgement at this point would honestly be my only suggestion. When the fear/paranoia settles down, hopefully he'll be open to an honest conversation.

Is his paranoia at all drug induced?

Does he have reason to be 'paranoid' or fearful?

Thinking of you and hoping for peace for you both.

Ace

[FaithHopeLove]

Thank you for your support. That is exactly what his father and I did. Validation of his feelings without judgment
 The paranoia may be partly drug induced but the fact is he is in real danger
 He woke up with a gun in his face
 

[once removed]

so he knew the folks that robbed him, do i have that right?

He is physically OK but super paranoid to the point of getting delusional.

can you give some examples?

[DharmaGate]

FaithHopeLove,  that beyond sucks, terrifying.  you have to be exhausted by now.  Thinking of you, let us know

[DharmaGate]

Would he go to inpatient treatment? Seems he would be safer there?

[FaithHopeLove]

so he knew the folks that robbed him, do i have that right?

He knows one of them. I am afraid he may try to retaliate.

can you give some examples?

some examples of paranoid thinking last night were him talking about how people are watching him and messing up his attempts to rent apartments, world wide network of sex traffickers and people who sell body parts, really rich people who run everything etc. In other words things that have SOME basis in reality, just not in the proportions he was talking about. I listened and validated what I could then gently pointed out that, although there is evil in the world there is also good. He eventually calmed down. I think it was mostly a reaction to the trauma of waking up with a gun at his head.

[FaithHopeLove]

Would he go to inpatient treatment? Seems he would be safer there?

No. He would not go inpatient.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[wendydarling]

FHLKC   what a nightmare and trauma, I'm so sorry. You've done a great job in helping him regulate. Are you still fearful he'll retaliate?

[RedRyder]

FHLKC: Sending prayers for peace for you. 

[Only Human]

My heart goes out to you, FHLKC. I'm sure it was difficult to stay calm while supporting your DS, much less keeping it together to validate his feelings - way to go, friend.

You and your family are in my thoughts today  

~ OH

[FaithHopeLove]

So far so good. He is feeling better now. I don't know if he retaliated or not but we didn't get any phone calls from the hospital or jail so I assume he is ok. My husband is going to help him find another place to live. He was planning to move anyway. I pray he gets out of the illegal weed business and finds a better way to make a living. DS could have a great future. He knows that. But he has to get past this first. Thank you all for your support.

[Music Ace]

And you continue to remain positive! You are an inspiration.  I'm glad you've shared.  And those of us with people with BPD traits AND substance issues (and they so often go hand in hand), totally get that this is just another 'day' to get through.

You did it ... .YOU GOT THROUGH IT!

Wishing you peace.

Ace

[FaithHopeLove]

Thank you Ace. I really do feel positive. The experience of being a mother to a person. With BPD and substance abuse issues who is, at least for now, also involved in an illegal business has certainly tested my faith, hope, and love. But it is these three things that have sustained me. Hence the name.