I was sad, planned to die alone and childless and unloved

[Euler2718]

I posted on bettering a BPD relationship before. Anyway, that fell apart, I was sad, planned to die alone and childless and unloved. Saw therapist, used dating apps, speed dated, talked to therapist, kept living. I'm dating two normal women. No "intimacy" yet, but no incredible pressure or drama either. I think either of them might be able to sustain a long term relationship. I talked to BPD ex last night about work, the lawn, etc. But I don't tell her about the dating (and don't have to). I don't really miss her. Hopefully this helps you all. I don't know how the dating will turn out but it might be great.

[Turkish]

Keep on trucking.

What are your expectations in dating?

[Vexed]

Hi, I'm curious as to the timeline.  How long has it been, how long was your rs?  I appreciate the post as my situation is similar except I'm in the I'll never love another, die alone and childless phase.  Thanks.

[Insom]

Hi, Euler2718.     Congrats on getting into therapy!   It sounds like you're doing great.  How did it feel to talk with your ex about work and lawn stuff without disclosing that you're dating?

Good question, Vexed.  While I can't answer for Euler2718, for me it was about 18 months between leaving my ex and meeting my husband.  I think the timeline is different for everyone and depends somewhat on your age, past relationship history, relationship length and so on.  Are you starting to think about dating?

[gotbushels]

Euler2718   

Things look much better for you given the whole planned to die alone thing.   

I join the others in supporting your going forward.

[Euler2718]

I don't know how long I've been in therapy but it's like 20 sessions so far, oncr a week, but now it's only biweekly.

The new girl laughs a lot and tries hard. The contrast is huge. Last night the exBPDgf called 5 times and cried because she said she missed me and loved me. But only as a friend; she has someone she plans to marry and have babies with.

I still didn't tell her about the new girl, not sure why. Maybe I don't want to get a devaluing if my current situation from her. Anyway, she asks, but I'm not giving her the info. Maybe some day.

I talk to other girls, too, since that's still ethical -- I haven't asked nir given a full commitment yet to anyone. But I didn't have one I really prefer. I'm protecting her from the ex somehow. You all have a good day.

[Euler2718]

Oh, and the new girl has children already which fir me us a good thing. They don't need my DNA to be loved by me.

[zachira]

It sounds like you are discovering the joy and ease of being around normal people.

[Turkish]

Oh, and the new girl has children already which fir me us a good thing. They don't need my DNA to be loved by me.

As an adopted kid,  I like your sentiment.  Let us know how it develops.