Daughter With BPD Collects Sweatshirts From Boyfriends

[StressedOutDaily]

This is a little thing...but just wondering if other teens do the same thing.

My BPDD16 has her "new" potential boyfriend here today.    Two weeks ago the last BF broke up with her, she was devastated for a week, but began searching for her next BF within days.

This guy walks in with a sweatshirt - he is wearing one, but is carrying another.  They go out for a walk around the neighborhood, and come back to the house - she is wearing the sweatshirt.  I think she must have told him to bring it with him.  

She still has 2 of the last BF's sweatshirts...she won't give them back to him because he "doesn't deserve them".  Thinking back, he gave her one of his sweatshirts when they first met also.   I believe she has one from the BF before him.

I'm not sure if it is a status thing, a collection thing, or just something that makes her feel like she is loved and a symbol of being a "couple".  

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[FaithHopeLove]

That is a great question although I sure don't know the answer. In my day, boys gave girls ID bracelets. In my parents' day they got "pinned." I guess now it is sweatshirts. Personally, I liked the jewelry better.

[StressedOutDaily]

Faith... I forgot about ID bracelets  ...school rings were another big thing when I was a teen.  

I forgot to mention - the sweatshirt is doused liberally with his cologne .  (UGH!)

[FaithHopeLove]

I hesitate to ask the scent.

[StressedOutDaily]

I don't know...but it isn't one I care for!  

[Only Human]

Good question, and I don't know the answer! DD25 would keep stuff from old boyfriends when she was an adolescent but the last few relationships she's had as an adult, she gathers everything up and holds it for a bit, giving the guy a chance to pick it up, then she unceremoniously chucks it in the trash.

~ OH

[StressedOutDaily]

OH - my daughter keeps everything from former bf's.  Her room is like a shrine to relationships gone bad.   Giant teddy bear, photos, jewelry, sweatshirts  , stuffed animals. I suggested perhaps boxing it up and not throwing it out...but she nixed that idea.  Maybe in a few years perhaps...

[wendydarling]

Oh SOD I ran a mile from the 6ft Giant teddy bear gifter  big red flags for me

[StressedOutDaily]

OH The giant bear giver wasn't too bad (and we were able to monitor her more, she was only 14 at the time)... unfortunately her picks are getting progressively worse.