Home page of BPDFamily.com, online relationship supportMember registration here
March 28, 2024, 05:37:04 PM *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins: Kells76, Once Removed, Turkish
Senior Ambassadors: Cat Familiar, EyesUp, SinisterComplex
  Help!   Boards   Please Donate Login to Post New?--Click here to register  
bing
Skills we were never taught
98
A 3 Minute Lesson
on Ending Conflict
Communication Skills-
Don't Be Invalidating
Listen with Empathy -
A Powerful Life Skill
Setting Boundaries
and Setting Limits
Pages: [1]   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: Mama with hurt feelings  (Read 353 times)
Solo-K
Fewer than 3 Posts
*
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Posts: 1


« on: May 16, 2019, 07:28:18 AM »

My daughter was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder many years ago. I guess I thought things would eventually get better for her and her extreme behavior would soon stop. Well, I'm sure most of you know that hasn't happened. Just last night she had an episode of rage toward me. I felt  blindsided because I thought things were going good between us. She's angry about a photo of her that I have on my phone. She doesn't like that the picture was photoshopped. She made all kinds of sweeping accusations about me. Most of them completely false and others were grossly distorted. There was no reasoning with her. Last night's episode left me feeling so low that I actually wished for a moment I could just disappear. I felt isolated and lonely because I had no one to talk to who would truly understand this problem. My husband is of no comfort because I believe he too has borderline personality disorder. I stayed up last night trying to find a support group online and ran across this site. I didn't have the mental energy last night to make a post. But here I am this morning with the same heavy feelings and I'm hoping someone here can give me some guidance.
Logged
Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders
FaithHopeLove
Retired Staff
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Relationship status: Shaky
Posts: 1606



« Reply #1 on: May 16, 2019, 08:02:09 AM »

HelloSoloKb]S[/b]
I am both glad you are here and sorry for the circumstances. This is definitely the right place for help and support. I have only been here a few months and already I see positive changes IN ME and learned a lot about how to improve my relationship with my 24 year old BPD son. Take heart. Things can get better for you and your daughter too. Let's walk through this together. What is your biggest concern right now? PS here's a hug. You look like you could use one.  
Logged
jeanoc

*
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Posts: 29


« Reply #2 on: May 16, 2019, 09:49:43 AM »

I am so sorry... This group has great people with very good advice.  You do not deserve to be treated like that.  We all have had a similar situation some more often then offers. I found this quote yesterday and found comfort in it.

I'm slowly learning that even if I react, it won't change anything,
It won't make people suddenly love and respect me, it won't magically
change their minds.  Sometimes it's better to just let things be, let people go,
don't fight for closure, don't ask for explanations, don't chase answers and don't
expect people to understand where you're coming from.  I'm slowly learning life
is better lived when you don't center it on what's happening around you and center it on
what's happening inside you instead.  Work on yourself and your inner peace.
Logged
Blueskyday
****
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Posts: 333


« Reply #3 on: May 16, 2019, 04:19:51 PM »

You are right of course, no one can know. I am in a similar position. I posted today very hurt and sad.

Its unnatural not to want to love and trust your own offspring. Everything life throws at us can be faced of we don't feel alone. Then there are those of us who have to lean to protect our hearts from our adult children.

It is hearbreaking and its normal to feel that way. We start to obsess, we question ourselves mercilessly. We love them but we somehow spark their negative emotions just by being there.

I thought my dtr now 29 had grown up a bit. Maybe she has but most of it seems to have been the meds which she's off now.

Its so sad to think we may not get the closeness we want with them.

I was trying to go less often and stay less time hoping to avoid the rages. The rages were replaced with histrionics, screaming at the dog or the cooker or the dishes. No amount of time was safe. I think its me that is the problem. I think it may always be because its been 18yrs of abuse, crisis and drama.

How long has this been happening with you two?

Logged
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?

Pages: [1]   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife



Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2006-2020, Simple Machines Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!