Helping adult daugther to move out

[Megalex]

Hello,

I am in crises, I have planned to sell my home and for the past 5 years my now married daughter and son in law have lived with me. They purchased their own home one and one half years ago and totally gutted it and although they are working at it it i still not livable. I asked my daugther and son in law to move their furniture out so I could paint and get the house ready for the market and am allowing them to stay in the guest room, however my daughter who has BPD is very upset and acting out. She was in the Navy and has finished college and she did well in the Navy and at work and at college, she only rages at me or her husband. I would like some ideas on how to help her with the transition as her reactions are irrational and I cannot reason with her.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[FaithHopeLove]

Hello, Megalex
I am happy to meet you and sorry for what brings you here. You have definitely come to the right place for help and support.  Transitions like moving are stressful for anyone, all the more so for people with BPD. Your daughter is lucky to have a loving parent like you who cares what she is going through. It sounds like she is, overall, pretty high functioning. Would you agree? Has she been diagnosed? Can you describe her reactions to the move? What does she say and do? 

[livednlearned]

I would like some ideas on how to help her with the transition as her reactions are irrational and I cannot reason with her.

What have you said to her so far, and how has she responded?

Do you have a deadline for when you would like them to move out?

How helpful is the H in supporting you with DD?