Brace for impact, CPS visit is inevitable, need tips please in less than 24 HR's

[Newyoungfather]

Hello Everyone,
I am expecting CPS in the future for another false allegation of abuse from the mother of my child.  I know for a fact they will be coming.  Any tips would greatly be appreciated, I am going to call my L tomorrow and see what he says but am looking for what other members have to say.  My son has been telling people that I hit him so I have been tipped off that CPS is coming.

[GaGrl]

More info, please? What do you think instigated the report to CPS? Is there a shred of truth? Who is giving g you a heads-up?

Deep breaths...

[Newyoungfather]

@GaGrl
My son has small bruises on his shin, it was a mandatory reporter and I was given the heads up through the grape vine.  My son will tell people that I hit him.

[Panda39]

Okay, not to minimize these allegations but just gonna say as a mom and as a past kid...bruises on the shins probably the most common natural place to get bruises...got them all the time on jungle gyms, riding my bike, even going up stairs. 

I don't have a "strategy" I would just be honest.  Was your son with you recently?  Did you notice the bruises when he was with you?  What did you do together?  Could he have gotten them while playing when he was with you?  Could he have gotten them playing at daycare? At mom's? 

This doesn't help your immediate problem but if you are having repeated false allegations have you considered recording your son's visits?  You might also think about documenting your visits, doing things like saving receipts if the 2 of you go somewhere so if the ex says son told her you were abusing him at 2p you could document you were at the grocery store for example.

I'm so sorry you going through this, I know it's awful my partner also had false allegations brought against him.

Hang in there,
Panda39

[Newyoungfather]

Thanks Panda,
I talked with my child custody attorney today and we put together a good plan.  He gave me the name of a highly recommended defense attorney who specializes in false allegations of abuse and CPS.  The attorney told me that if CPS comes to my door I should ask for identification and let them know that I am more than willing to participate in an interview however I would like my attorney to be present and to give them his contact information so they can set up a time.  He told me this way your still not letting them into your house but your still showing that your not being 100% defiant.

[kells76]

Hey NYF, did CPS show up?

[ForeverDad]

I agree with Panda, little bruises on the shins are typical for young children.

When my divorce was nearing the final stages she raged about me being in contact with the pediatrician's office.  She had temp custody during the entire divorce process but school had asked my help when she didn't respond to their calls.  Well, she raged at the pediatrician's staff and the doctor promptly "withdrew services".  I'm sure she realized she made a huge misstep so of course she had to try to make me look worse than her.  After the next set of exchanges CPS contacted me about an allegation that I had gotten enraged at son and "beat him on his shins".  Even the hospital had in their logs that the bruises on his shins were normal for an active boy like him (climbing all over the exam table/bed).  Later when he was back with me and almost immediately wanted to show me his bruises, he wasn't sure where he got them but later after some thought he told me that he thought his bruises were from the climbing bars in a local park when with his mother.

This was this first time she had gotten an allegation (started by her typical claiming "My son told me... ." supported by our son.  She must have been really motivated in her coaching.  I spoke with my son and realized he didn't know what lying was.  During those early years I felt he was developmentally delayed by all the conflict and discord.  He was in kindergarten, so I looked for a way to VALIDATE what truth and honesty were.  I found an out-of-print Clifford The Big Red Dog book, T-Bone Tells The Truth, and we read it together.  I saw the light bulb go off in his head.

By the time I spoke with CPS they had already interviewed my son at his school, what they considered a neutral place for the child.

It's almost laughable - if it weren't so serious - to imagine an angry parent getting down on hands and knees to beat a little kid's shins.

[Newyoungfather]

Hello Everyone,
Thanks for the advice. CPS did not show up yet however I havn't been home much during the day.  My friend told me just to go about my day doing my regular stuff, if they show up then they show up.  I feel a lot better knowing we have a game plan from my attorney.  I will keep everyone posted.