BPD son handled his emotions well today

[FaithHopeLove]

My DS called his father this morning to say police came to his door asking about the previous tenant in his apartment. It had nothing to do with him but uniforms are a trigger. He asked that his father come over and help him calm down while he stayed on the phone with me. We did as he asked and he was able to regulate his emotions. This was really good so I wanted to share it with the group to show that progress IS possible. Sometimes we just need to step back a bit and let them figure things out for themselves.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[StressedOutDaily]

Thanks for sharing that FHL

[wendydarling]

How's it going Faith? 

[FaithHopeLove]

Hi Wendy Darling. Thanks for asking. Since being released from the hospital and then running away from rehab my son has seemed pretty stable. He still has problems regulating his emotions but he seems to be doing less drugs and is much more himself. I have no idea what the future holds or if I dare hope he is on his way to recovery. One day at a time I guess. He cleaned his apartment last week which was amazing. He has expensive glass pieces he really treasures that he put in a display cabinet. Then he went upstate for some reason (could be drug related but we don't ask) and got paranoid about his stuff even though he has bars on his windows and an alarm system. He called at 2am and asked my husband to go check on and stay in his apartment. He said he knew it was a lot to ask. But my husband did it. Now H is thinking about drawing some boundaries. I am a little nervous about how that will go. I guess I am in a place of wondering when the other shoe will drop. My son says he wants me to trust him. I am trying to but it isn't easy.

[Swimmy55]

Hi FHL,
Gently, the onus is on your son to earn your trust back. Otherwise, I am glad he has put one foot forward in front of the other one day at a time.

[wendydarling]

Faith, it's good to hear he seems pretty stable following his stay in hospital, more himself. The stay may give him something to think on and I hope he can reflect on the care he had, it is there.  

It is day by day   How are you feeling in yourself? You've been through huge trauma and it takes it's toll. Have you and H seen your GP? Both JustYouWait and I have come out the other end and we've both, stressed the importance of getting to our Drs earlier than later.

That is such a good point Swimmy! The onus is on Faith's son to earn her trust.

Now H is thinking about drawing some boundaries.

that is a huge step for your H, your son relies heavily on him. Is there something that's happened recently that's prompted H to think this through what this means? I can understand you are nervous ...  first point is boundaries are healthy and your H can introduce them firmly and lovingly over time. Think SET.

Do you think your son understands his emotional dysregulation?

WDx

[zachira]

I always enjoy the good news! Small steps are big ones!

[FaithHopeLove]

Yes WD we are both seeing doctors and we both recognize we have been traumatized. We sleep a lot. We are healing.