Daughter and Lover share a common unbond.

[GeGe08]

My life is split with splitting; both my daughter and significant other have traits for BPD. I feel stuck in the middle because not only do they both have BPD, share the same Birthday, but have me as their favorite person.  They do not get along at all, which places me in the middle of high turbulence.  I, myself,  am a empath so I'm overwhelmed with emotions and distress.  My partner is getting help.  My daughter has said she'll get help but not with the knowledge or acceptance that she has any other problem than ADHD. She's definitely has BPD too with the narcissistic as well. She won't keep a job longer than 6 weeks,  her relationships are all turmoil,  she stays in fights,  and don't care about anyone but herself; everyone else is the problem,  according to her. I can go on and on about her but my goal isn't to assassinate but to bring life back. 

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Swimmy55]

Welcome GeGe08,
Welcome.  You are at the right place.  Is your daughter a minor or adult?  It seems you are being yanked in two directions and where does that leave you?  Your daughter mentioned she would get help( that is great news) but in the meantime are you doing any self care?    Please share as you are able and please look around this website. This may be a good place to start.
 https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=334610.0

[FaithHopeLove]

Welcome Gege08 I am glad you are here and sad for the circumstances. It has to be rough feeling like you are always in the middle between your child and significant other, both of whom share BPD traits. I wonder if you have heard of the Karpman Triangle. Here is a great article about it.

Karpman Triangle

It may be very hard to relinquish the false hope that the other person will someday step permanently into the role of a responsible and giving adult, partner, or parent. We have to face our own outdated fantasies, feelings and beliefs and let them go before we can stop fixing, rescuing and caretaking the other person.


hugs
Faith