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Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse... Have you considered that being critical, judgmental, or invalidating toward the other parent, no matter what she or he just did will only make matters worse? Someone has to be do something. This means finding the motivation to stop making things worse, learning how to interrupt your own negative responses, body language, facial expressions, voice tone, and learning how to inhibit your urges to do things that you later realize are contributing to the tensions.
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Author Topic: A week to bring my A game  (Read 439 times)
formflier
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
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« on: July 27, 2019, 09:02:03 PM »


So...I may not be around much this coming week.  FFw and I are going to visit family for a couple days and then a couple days of a "retreat" at a remote country house.  Just us.

Best,

FF
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GaGrl
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« Reply #1 on: July 27, 2019, 09:18:27 PM »

Good for you!

My birthday is coming up, and we're going to a resort with an original building that pre-dates the Civil War. I'm going to pretend I'm rich for a few days.

How does it usually go when you isolate?
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"...what's past is prologue; what to come,
In yours and my discharge."
formflier
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« Reply #2 on: July 27, 2019, 09:32:20 PM »


Usually goes pretty good. 

Being really close for a couple  of days is usually a positive.  Trying to keep that up for over a week or so...something will go down.

I did the original invite over a week or two ago.  She twisted it and got all in a snit.  I didn't bite and let things calm down. 

(somehow she was trying to prove that me inviting her meant I didn't want to go visit her family ...unless it suited me.  No..I didn't try to figure it out..)

She calmed down after a few days.  I brought up the idea again a few days ago and she loved it.

Big picture:  We she goes off the reservation..I don't chase after her.  I don't remind her of times she went off.

Best,

FF
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