Diagnosis + Treatment
The Big Picture
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde? [ Video ]
Five Dimensions of Human Personality
Think It's BPD but How Can I Know?
DSM Criteria for Personality Disorders
Treatment of BPD [ Video ]
Getting a Loved One Into Therapy
Top 50 Questions Members Ask
Home page
Forum
List of discussion groups
Making a first post
Find last post
Discussion group guidelines
Tips
Romantic relationship in or near breakup
Child (adult or adolescent) with BPD
Sibling or Parent with BPD
Boyfriend/Girlfriend with BPD
Partner or Spouse with BPD
Surviving a Failed Romantic Relationship
Tools
Wisemind
Ending conflict (3 minute lesson)
Listen with Empathy
Don't Be Invalidating
Setting boundaries
On-line CBT
Book reviews
Member workshops
About
Mission and Purpose
Website Policies
Membership Eligibility
Please Donate
April 19, 2025, 05:04:19 AM
Welcome,
Guest
. Please
login
or
register
.
1 Hour
5 Hours
1 Day
1 Week
Forever
Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins:
Kells76
,
Once Removed
,
Turkish
Senior Ambassadors:
EyesUp
,
SinisterComplex
Help!
Boards
Please Donate
Login to Post
New?--Click here to register
Survey: How do you compare?
Adult Children Sensitivity
67% are highly sensitive
Romantic Break-ups
73% have five or more recycles
Physical Hitting
66% of members were hit
Depression Test
61% of members are moderate-severe
108
BPDFamily.com
>
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
>
Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting
> Topic:
Not liking this...
Pages: [
1
]
Go Down
« previous
next »
Print
Author
Topic: Not liking this... (Read 688 times)
MeandThee29
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Divorced
Posts: 977
Not liking this...
«
on:
August 22, 2019, 12:03:53 PM »
First, I have nothing to hide. No romantic relationships, ok but very tight because I still don't have a full-time job and want to be very careful with my finances. Been working on settlement for five or so months, maybe near the end.
I'm 95% sure now that I'm being followed and surveilled. I've seen the same guy multiple times. When he's parked near the front of my house, he'll move to a nearby side street when I come home.
I'll tell my lawyer next time I talk to him. Honestly, I don't care if my husband paying for this as part of the divorce. He accused me of affairs multiple times over the years when he zero concern that way. I know that was likely projection. I hope the investigator enjoys watching me.
Just creepy though.
Logged
GaGrl
Ambassador
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner’s ex
Posts: 5780
Re: Not liking this...
«
Reply #1 on:
August 22, 2019, 01:12:11 PM »
Wait til he's parked around the corner and take him a cup of coffee.
Logged
"...what's past is prologue; what to come,
In yours and my discharge."
MeandThee29
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Divorced
Posts: 977
Re: Not liking this...
«
Reply #2 on:
August 22, 2019, 02:16:07 PM »
Quote from: GaGrl on August 22, 2019, 01:12:11 PM
Wait til he's parked around the corner and take him a cup of coffee.
I thought of that. LOL.
It made me happier though to think about the bills while they try to find something that isn't there.
Maybe he's watching someone else, but I doubt it.
Logged
I Am Redeemed
Retired Staff
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Family other
Relationship status: In a relationship
Posts: 1922
Re: Not liking this...
«
Reply #3 on:
August 22, 2019, 03:23:33 PM »
Have you seen him following you when you leave? Like going to the store or whatever?
That would make me feel a little creepy, too.
Logged
We are more than just our stories.
MeandThee29
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Divorced
Posts: 977
Re: Not liking this...
«
Reply #4 on:
August 22, 2019, 04:32:33 PM »
Quote from: I Am Redeemed on August 22, 2019, 03:23:33 PM
Have you seen him following you when you leave? Like going to the store or whatever?
That would make me feel a little creepy, too.
Yes, twice he was behind me in my street and then made sure he wasn't directly behind me on the main road. Maybe he was leaving.
I saw him this morning when I came back, parked. Then he moved to where I couldn't see him from the house. That confirmed it for me.
My lawyer mentioned that sometimes this is done, but told me not to worry about it. He mentioned it at the beginning when he was giving me the do's and don't and said to "mind myself" in case something like is ordered. I've had friends's husbands and sons come to fix things for me, but they've always come with someone to help them. So nothing at all questionable.
Logged
mart555
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 340
Re: Not liking this...
«
Reply #5 on:
August 23, 2019, 11:21:47 AM »
Why don't you go visit the city's most expensive lawyers? Sit in the lobby of their building for an hour or two then walk out? Then maybe do a few banks?
Logged
toomanydogs
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Living Apart
Posts: 561
Re: Not liking this...
«
Reply #6 on:
August 23, 2019, 11:29:27 AM »
Quote from: mart555 on August 23, 2019, 11:21:47 AM
Why don't you go visit the city's most expensive lawyers? Sit in the lobby of their building for an hour or two then walk out? Then maybe do a few banks?
I like this suggestion.
I know a P.I. and when all my divorce stuff started, I'd asked if he could find out if my STBX was back on meth.
He told me it's very hard and very expensive to prove much of anything regarding drug use or infidelity because the P.I. has to catch the person in the act; otherwise, it's just innuendo.
Still, I think it's creepy.
I had someone try to break into my house during this divorce. That was mega creepy.
A jerk is what your STBX is.
TMD
Logged
Imagination is more important than knowledge. For knowledge is limited to all we now know and understand, while imagination embraces the entire world... Einstein
ForeverDad
Retired Staff
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: separated 2005 then divorced
Posts: 18676
You can't reason with the Voice of Unreason...
Re: Not liking this...
«
Reply #7 on:
August 27, 2019, 05:43:34 PM »
A professional such as a private investigator is able to do things that the parties involved can't do. Your stbEx could be considered stalking if he or a friend followed you, but a professional is allowed to do that. Besides being trained and bonded, professionals are to be emotionally distanced from the matters involved.
I recall when my then-spouse would claim people were behaving suspiciously before we separated. Yeah, she saw stalkers and abductors almost anywhere. I would always as for photos of the people, vehicles or license plate numbers. Of course she never thought to get her own documentation. I never had anyone trailing her nor camped out. The idea of bringing the person coffee got me grinning, but in case you need the documentation later, is there someone who could accompany you as you log the license plate number?
Logged
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?
Pages: [
1
]
Go Up
Print
BPDFamily.com
>
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
>
Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting
> Topic:
Not liking this...
« previous
next »
Jump to:
Please select a destination:
-----------------------------
Help Desk
-----------------------------
===> Open board
-----------------------------
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
-----------------------------
=> Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup
=> Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting
=> Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
-----------------------------
Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD
-----------------------------
=> Son, Daughter or Son/Daughter In-law with BPD
=> Parent, Sibling, or In-law Suffering from BPD
-----------------------------
Community Built Knowledge Base
-----------------------------
=> Library: Psychology questions and answers
=> Library: Tools and skills workshops
=> Library: Book Club, previews and discussions
=> Library: Video, audio, and pdfs
=> Library: Content to critique for possible feature articles
=> Library: BPDFamily research surveys
Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife
Loading...