]I have been noseying around this group for a few weeks now, just taking it all in and not really knowing where to even begin with my story/ chaos. I really do not even know where to begin as there is so much crap. It’s a life time of chaos. My 15yr old daughter has literally put me and her father through hell the past 2/3 years. She has mental health issues since she was 6 years old and has been in some type of therapy since then. And through all this mess I also have a 8yr old son, who has witnessed his sisters SA, SIB, running away.
She struggles with using the internet appropriately, on any type of electronic device. She has been caught sexting old men, sending/receiving nude photos, and lying...omg the stories she tells are out of this world, let’s see, she has been raped, sex traffic victim, her dad is a murder, I was killed...and lets not forgot the little lies about herself that she spins. It’s crazy and mind boggling just thinking about it as I type this. She always needs to be the victim; someone always needs to show her compassion or feel sorry for her. And what gets me is that there are crazy people or her friends that she lies to that believe the crazy things she says. like they don't have common sense!
Back in 2017 she got in trouble for something, I don't even remember what it was but the next day she self-harmed then reported to the school nurse that her dad beat her up. Now was have DCF in our life, home visits, court, neglect and abuse charges. All because she got pissed off at her dad for grounding her. While we were fighting DCF her out of control behaviors only escalated. She ran away several times, is now using DCF to threaten her dad and I over everything and every time we try to give her a consequence. It took until Dec in 2017 for DCF to realize that she had some serious mental health issues, that it really wasn't her dad and I abusing or neglecting her. She was then put into a program called SFIT where she remained for the month of December. Intensive family and individual therapy where she’s is diagnosed with histrionic personality disorder deferred due to her age.
I should also state that I myself am a psych nurse who works in a residential facility that specializing in RAD and Personality Disorders. So, I sorta know what I am doing... most days
We still have DCF in our life and the current psychologist that is treating my daughter recommends a higher level of care, a residential facility. DCF fights this tooth and nail, and as you know most insurances will not cover residential and I don’t have the $$$$ to pay out of pocket for it. So she goes into a PRTF that my state runs for a whopping 3 months. she comes home, the school won’t take her back because of her issues, they provide a tutor until the end of the year (8th grade)
We have MDFT in the home, things seem to be going well with her treatment. Then on June 30th I go away for the weekend. Daughter was spending that weekend at my parents’ house. Get a call from my husband that he’s on the way to the hospital as my daughter has overdosed. My lovely manipulative daughter got caught sexting someone on a cell phone. My parents took it away, yelled at her, what not. She runs away. They let her, they live in the middle of nowhere she can’t get far. She eventually comes back an hour or so later, pissed off that they didn't chase after her when she took off. My parents were very non-reactive, as that how we are supposed to be when she acts up. She then took an unknown amount of medication, and some of the meds that my parents had in the house. She is seizing when my mom found her, 911 called. I mentioned the live in the middle of nowhere, by time ambulance arrived my uncle and cousin (who are emts and live next door thank god) were already performing cpr, she has been down for a few minutes. They get her back at some point en route to the hospital. Hours later she is alert and oriented, ready to come home she’s perfectly fine...um hell no! she gets transferred to a psych hospital for SA. She stays there for about 2 months.
Sent home with MDFT once again in place, leaves with ADHD w/impulsivity, possible bi polar and conversion disorder.
All is well from sept- nov, for the most part. I mean she/we still had our difficulties with her lying and her rages/ manipulative behavior. Then we discharge from MDFT to a weekly therapist. Daughter really struggles with change. Insert 24yr old man found having sex with my 14yr daughter in my house that she met online. Police called, therapist, psychiatrist all notified. As usual things go well behavior wise for a few weeks or so, as is her normal cycle.
Then this March
PLEASE READ hits the fan again…. march is her birthday and we have major issues every single year. She gets caught at school with a cell phone that they know she isn’t allowed to have, and caught using school computers to solicit herself once again to older men. She gets in trouble at home, runs away. Comes home, then the next day reported to the school nurse once again that her dad beat her up. And now DCF is in the picture …again… you would think they still have her file somewhere from the year before, you know the one that states all her mental health stuff, the fact that they sent her to SFIT and PRFT. That she in fact isn’t abused or neglected, that she manipulates EVERYONE. Nope, they don’t care about that. Her dad and I have anger issues and we physically abuse her and emotionally neglect her. So while DCF is busy building their case against us, DD runs away AGAIN with a 22 yr. old homeless man. Found 48hrs later by me and her dad. Police called, as at this point she was a missing person. I demand that she be taken to the hospital for evaluation as she has not taken any of her meds for 48hrs. She is brought into crisis unit. I hate this unit. We have been here so many damn times and I am always the one that is made out to be the crazy, since my lovely daughter is an angel as soon as she is getting one on one attention from a stranger….
back to the story…. She refuses to see me or my mom, refuses to come home, refuses to remain home when they release her. Which they do as it this hospital doesn’t have Pedi psych. But we have a therapy apt that we have regularly scheduled that day so the hospital discharged her. Show up with daughter, still irate, smashing head on car window, refusing to get out of the car, just craziness. Therapist has been calling voluntary services with dcf for hours at this point, with no luck. It’s clear that my daughter cannot remain home and remain safe. In an act of desperation my husband and I had the therapist call in a 136 for abandonment, since we could not take her back home. Well this got DCF there in 20 damn minutes. Daughter still refusing to go home, still wants to kill herself, will not go to my parents’ house. Wants to be homeless and have her freedom. I sign her over for a 96 hr. dcf hold. Now, we still have our other DCF investigation going on this whole time. My daughter goes back into SFIT for 2 weeks at that point dcf has made my parents her temporary foster parents. Which is ok since they live in the middle of nowhere and she can’t go missing or meet up with stranger.
Through many court dates and meetings, DD is still living with my parents, dcf is in charge of transporting her to school and all her med/ therapy appts. I should mention my parents live over an hour from me. DCF isn’t too keen on all this transportation that they have to provide…oh well. Trial starts, recommendations are made for a higher level of care by primary therapist. A new psych eval is done, when this dr diagnoses Borderline PD traits and recommends treatment that involves family and dbt therapies. DCF agrees to send her to a wilderness program and intensive outpatient DBT program. All while still trying to prove to a judge that I and my husband are unfit parents. Throughout the time my daughter has been in DCFs care, they have missed 6 med appoints, countless therapy sessions and even dropped her off downtown by herself 4 hrs. before her scheduled apt. Luckily the drs office secretary knows us and called me to tell me that my daughter was dropped off and left and she is currently walking around outside with a group of men. I call our SW to report this and that I was going down to be with my daughter, despite not being allowed to be with her unsupervised (court ordered BS). At this point my daughter has been refusing to take her meds for a few weeks now, so it’s important that she meets with the Dr. DCF doesn’t see a problem with my daughter being left on her own. Few weeks go by daughter is still living with my parents, my household is calm and finally normal.
Then she runs away from summer school…MIA for 8 hrs., police and dcf notified. Somehow she ends up in town for her therapy appt. And like all episodes of her getting into trouble, she reported to her therapist that my dad is a drunk and puts her in danger every day. And she doesn’t feel safe living with my parents anymore yada yada yada… Therapist is obviously a mandated reporter, 136 filed against my dad. No investigation DCF knows my daughter makes things up. WTF! Now they decide to question her stories! But yet they still continue to take me to court to remove her permanently from my custody. So far DCF has failed to bring her to numerous med appts and therapy appts. Yet I am the neglectful one. Wilderness…. they forgot to send in the paperwork for it…. DBT…. they didn’t have the releases that I needed to sign to get her into the program. To me this is actual neglect. Our trial ended yesterday, now we wait 120 days for the judge to decide our fate. Worst comes to worst my daughter will be remaining in DCFs care hopefully go into a group home. Or remain with my parents as a foster home, which will just end up badly as we all know they will end being her next victims. This
PLEASE READ sucks.[/size][/size][/size]
