Feeling guilty

[Nanaking]

My daughter has many, if not all of the traits of bpd. She’s a  22 year old single mom and was brought up in a home with lots of support and love. She has dropped out of college, hangs out with people in gangs, chooses to be a “dancer” for money and dabbles in drugs. As her mom I am constantly feeling guilty for making her like this. I wish her choices in life were better. What did I do wrong and can I fix it? I feel like I lost myself and my happiness worrying about her all the time. There is so much more to her story. Again, what did I do and can it be fixed?

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[FaithHopeLove]

Hello Nanaking Welcome to the group. I am glad you found us. Your daughter's lifestyle and choices are sadly familiar to all of us. It is the nature of this disease. At the top of this page you will see an article entitled " Did I  Cause This?" I am on my phone right now so I can't post a direct link but you should be able to find it. Maybe it will give you some perspective on your feelings of guilt. BPD is caused by a combination of both environment and genetics. Is it possible you did some things wrong?  Maybe. Will you ever know exactly what triggered your daughter's BPD traits? Probably not. Are you a bad parent? No. You are human. You did the best you could based on what you knew at the time. Now you are learning more. The fact that you are posting here means you are a loving parent and you are committed to being part of positive change. In that spirit I welcome you. Let me know if the article helps at all. I look forward to hearing more from you.
Hugs
Faith