Bottomless pit of need?

[Lola B]

Does anyone else have this problem?

When she is fine, she is fine.

But when she is hungry, angry, lonely, tired, scared, jealous, overwhelmed, you name it, I can’t love my BPD D19 sufficiently and everything becomes my fault.

This might be the hardest illness to live with.

I”ll take cancer for $200 Alec.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[FaithHopeLove]

I am sorry you are having a rough time with your daughter. You certainly are not the only one to experience this. In fact emotional neediness and blame is pretty typical behavior for people with BPD.  How do you respond when she gets like this?

[Lola B]

Hopefully I am responding to your comment. I haven't mastered this site yet.

When we are in the same space, I argue back as I get hooked into the battle she desperately longs for (I guess to get attention). Because she is at college, I have the distance to draw a firm boundary and tell her I will not be spoken to in such a manner. She usually goes on for a bit about how impossibly cruel I am and then later apologizes (much later).

I pray for her to make friends and work on herself but she prefers to wallow and stay angry and feel victimized.

I most definitely am abused by her and I have very little hope of it ending. Her stay in college will be brief and she will likely commute. Any advice?

[Bluemoon23]

Same here. And what I am doing now is working on protecting myself and to not be engaged in ways that are abusive. I cannot do it anymore. So I'm finding my strength and ways so I can be strong in clear in my protection.

It's good you see found this community so you don't feel so alone and that there are ways to help with getting better at dealing with it all.