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Author Topic: Again, twitter games. i need advice, break NC or continue, please  (Read 86 times)
Xeonrebel
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 53


« on: October 06, 2019, 04:34:30 PM »

Hi. I've post here a few times. long story short, 8-9 years RS, with an udxBPDgf, left me last month for a replacement she supposedly met 4 days before telling me the truth. last breakup happened 2 years ago, lasted around 8 months in total (between one time we came back for 2 months, and then left again) and it involved a dynamic (twisted dynamic, honestly), where i was blocked from everywhere except twitter and she would start tweeting pictures, after 3 months of silence from her, doing whatever (playing football) or memes that suggest that she was missing me. the last time that happened i tried to approach but i only got silence. Anyway, after this last breakup, I started NC, but unfortunely gave in in 3 times, 5 days later after discard, sent a song and a message, 1 week later i tested the waters on her twitter account since she blocked me from everywhere except twitter (whastapp, facebook, calls, cell messages, etc), just silence. a week after that i tried to call her, blocked. i pursue her and manage to talk to her. i obtained a really really cold closure, like if 9 years were nothing for her. that day i went to my therapist, strangely i felt quite well after all that since it was like a revelation to me that i needed to move on. so, i took a stand and did 2 things that i wouldnt do before (during my RS), and the first thing was i change my picture and put a picture with me and another woman who ive known for almost 9 years as we are very close and she is actually helping me with this breakup. the 2nd thing i did was i had 2 twitter accounts, both my exgf knew. the account where i tried to gain her attention left it as it is. the other one, i blocked her (my exgf), and i followed the woman from my facebook picture and she followed me as well, since then we have started tweeting almost everyday between us. my tweets were unprotected. 8 days later i found out that my exgf blocked the twitter account were i had this friend and left the other account unblocked. after analyzing the situation and in order to avoid overthinking (like, why did she block me from one account and not the other one, etc etc etc..) i deactivated my account and left my other account alive. 5 days ago i noticed through web twitter that she posted pictures of her, the firsts 3 pictures were of her playing football, she has the same pictures on her facebook with a frame and her new bf has a picture of her as well on his facebook. the other 3 pictures it has to do with her job. she only has 2 followers, of which are like, pages of missing people and she follows only 50 people.
honestly, i dont know what to think, i dont know if she's going to play the same game like 2 years ago, with the difference that theres another person involvec, i dont know if those were meant to me (since she has the same pictures on her facebook and her new bf isnt following her), i dont know if it has something to do with the picture of my female friend and me together or the fact that i've been strict NC (almost ghost) for about 13 days (the longest i could support without giving in was about 1 week).
i have to say, i didnt react, nor re-activate my older account (the one i used a few weeks earlier to get her attention). im pretty sure that she was expecting a lot of mails, calls, messages, begging to unblock me from whatsapp, etc etc like i DID 2 years ago, or replying to her tweets, so im a little surprised im seeing this behaviour so early because i was expecting either a forever thing or a 1 year or more thing before this tricks or contact from her.
what should i do? should i contact her through twitter (even if i know that she most likely give me silence) or expect a real communication from her (email, call, etc.). on one hand im not going to lie, i miss her but on the other hand my therapist says i shouldnt go back because of the way she handled things at the end (cruelty, blaming, she was basically blaming me for not asking her to get married on time.., basically i deserved that she cheated on me) and also because this last 2 years were literally problem-free, almost all joy.  by the way, other than those tweets im still block from everywhere til this day. thanks!!!
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Turkish
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Other
What is your relationship status with them: "Divorced"/abandoned in Feb 2013.
Posts: 10489


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« Reply #1 on: October 07, 2019, 09:34:54 PM »

Social media can be a useful outlet to show the fragments of our best or worse selves, the latter often being oblivious to most. A long time ago, I asked myself, "what am I getting out of this?  And I blocked her.

Recently, I thought it safe to accept a friend request on FB which I had let sit idle for almost 2 years.  We share kidlets. Recently, she promoted her Instagram, and her videos to me come off like she's channeling Wayne Dyer and Marriane Williamson, a guru. I find it amusing, but I'm not going to interact, follow her, or otherwise validate.

Contact is validation, not detachment. Maybe in the future this might be possible, but this breakup is still fresh.
I also agree with your T. No one deserves to be cheated upon.  I blocked my ex 6 years ago because she was posting passive aggressive memes on FB blaming me.  Value your own self and heal.
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