No talking

[Beachlove]

Our D25 will not speak to us for 4 weeks now, we are the enemy, the only thing we know if that she has a dr appt din a few weeks and we think it’s only for Rx of ambien and Xanax.

A few weeks ago, I asked her why she is so angry when she even says one word to reply to me,

She replied I hate everyone and I have a mental problem,
I said which one and she blew up and sent me a list of trauma symptoms and a text leave me the F alone, don’t talk to me.

We adopted her at 8 and she has always had bpd signs and it’s just getting unbearable,

I don’t like her, don’t trust her and she hates us and always has
She has never been nice or thought about saying sorry or thank you ever.,

Her life has been a fairytale with us
The best schools, fully paid colleges, luxury vacations, the best restaurants
Best clothing hair and makeup
Bought her a house fully paid and furnished., she never paid for any of it., we sold it and she moved in with us 4 years ago with her son.,

She does work and has for 3 years
She got fired 3 weeks over posting on social media that she was in crictical condition, then didn’t go to work for week because she pretended or thought she was sick, it wasn’t real but we were leaving her alone for 9 days to go on vacation without her.,
She didn’t go to work they fired her
She has started a new job last week...

There is so much more it’s so overwhelming and the hurt is so tremendously unbearable now.,
I can’t even write more right now, I’m too upset can’t even put words together

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Swimmy55]

Welcome. We are glad you wrote.  You mentioned she goes to a doc, would that mean therapist?  If so that is a positive. It seems she is aware of her mental state, that is another plus.

Are you getting any self care for you ?  Take a look around this website, also in the library of book recommendations.  A popular one is " Walking on Eggshells".  In this book, it states the best way to take care of a BPD is to take care of yourself first. Please write back more as you are able. We know the pain you are in.

[FaithHopeLove]

Hello Beachlove
I join Swimmy in welcoming you here. What you are going through is very upsetting. No one likes being treated like they are the enemy particularly a loving parent. Have you considered therapy for yourself to help you cope with this situation?
Hugs
Faith

[Beachlove]

The statement by her “ I have a mental problem”
Is a new revelation., within the past 2 weeks

Doc is psychologist
 A new doctor never been to him before
We feel like it’s for Rx only

I’ve have years of psychology appointments.

She has also had years of psychology appointments, but
When she gives them the weather report and they give out Rx, she can’t get help., she has refused to tell them any trauma or ptsd causes.

[FaithHopeLove]

The statement by her “ I have a mental problem”
Is a new revelation., within the past 2 weeks

That actually sounds like progress to me. She is showing insight.

[betterdays3]

It seems like she is functioning fairly well. She has had a job, now a new job. She has a psych doc. She has a house. She doesn't want to talk to you-her choice. Be comforted in the knowledge that you were good parents and she has a sickness and it's not your fault or her fault. She's an adult.
My daughter directs much of her anger at me (mom). She's angry about her illness, she doesn't want to be sick, she wants a normal life but that is not reality. She has yet to accept that she has a chronic illness. Your daughter appears to have that self-awareness-this will serve her well. Respect her wishes and leave her be. Use this time to take care of yourself. It's hard-I'm living the same reality but I keep reminding myself that I deserve self-care and the right to have a peaceful life. Find help where you can. Although I have only posted a few times, I appreciate the validation and support from others going through similar experiences. You're not alone.

[Beachlove]

This is the part I said I’m leaving out info, I’m so frustrated, I can’t think straight

She lives with us.. mom and dad

We financially support her,
She uses her money for spending money

She does work various days 8-6

We are 100% hands on taking care of her 4 yo

She never does anything to help at home

She goes out with her friends

Right now we don’t exist to her it seems