Helping everyone

[Jtogether]

My 17yo son has BPD traits. Yesterday we had another in a long line of crises - he plugged a live wire into the electricity and caused a surge that shorted out our house. This is on top of crashing our car, using drugs, repeated shoplifting, regular self harm and suicidal thinking.

As parents we are at our wits end. He of course blames us and is angry because we went into his room to remove dangerous stuff and in his mind invading his privacy.

My husband has has enough and wants to protect our younger daughters by forcing him to move out. Did I mention his Type 1 diabetes and hepatitis (still getting to the bottom of that one!)?

I am determined that we not abandon him for the sake of the girls. I only see harm for everyone if we kick him out. Don’t think he’d survive it.

How can I help EVERYONE?

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[FaithHopeLove]

Hello Jtogether
Welcome to the group. This is a great place to get information and support for what you are going through with your son. The scenario you describe sounds very familiar to me and I am sure many other parents here. The behavior of people with BPD or BPD traits can be very disconcerting to say the least. The good news is there are communication skills you can learn that will help with your relationship with your son. But first is the very urgent question of whether or not it is wise at this point to ask him to leave. In what ways does he endanger his sister's? Has he been physically violent? Is he in any kind of therapy? Are there other alternatives available such as residential care? I am trying to get a fuller picture of what Is going on so that I along with others can brainstorm some solutions with you. But first take a deep breath. Things can get better. You will make it through this crisis.
Hugs
Faith