Letting her spin out with detachment

[Lola B]

My BPD 20-yr daughter is losing friends. They are becoming unavailable although they then post themselves doing fun things later that day.

She get wickedly hot and speaks vulgarly about that disobedience with her plans. Then she cries and rages and speaks vulgarly about them fading away.

She is going to have to learn on her own that no amount of short term comfort (raging, eating, spending) lack consequences.

In the middle of her latest rant, I asked her if she had taken her meds. She raged, then took them, because she had not.

This is my life. It has been. My mother was overtly disturbed and violent, I married and divorced the same thing, and I’m raising the same energy. I no longer hate myself for having judgements and feeling disgusted with this phenomenon.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Blueskyday]

I no longer hate myself for having judgements and feeling disgusted with this phenomenon.

This is progress. She may not be learning but you are. She needs to feel the consequences of her treatment of others. All you need do is allow that to happen and stick to your guns when it feels impossible.

 Mine is 30 and has learned nothing in 20 yrs. Stick with the forum. We will walk with you xx

[Lola B]

Thank you

[java919]

sometimes i think i cant take another round
may get better a while but then comes back like a sucker punch and we are back in the cycle of nothing is good enough, nothing will help what is point of being alive
its so hard, so exhausting and dont think people can truly understand but we can support eachother

[java919]

to continue mine is also a daughter a little older than urs issues w friendships not lasting not knowing how to keep them long term
expecting others to fill a need and when theyre not perfect or do as she expects
theyre no good

i hear what u r saying and hope we can both keep standing and not let life get swallowed
by the stress and fatigue