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Author Topic: Involvement  (Read 343 times)
Loving meme
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Family other
Relationship status: Involved grandparent who has had significant involvement with granddaughter
Posts: 1


« on: January 21, 2020, 08:58:29 PM »

My 14 year old granddaughter is I officially diagnosed with BPD. She started acting out about a year ago and now is in a residential facility and being treated. Her mother and her do not have  a good relationship. She has gone from self-harming to aggressive physical attacks to other patients and staff. My daughter does not keep me informed and the staff wants us to be supportive family members but our questions seemed to be viewed as demanding and excessive. I am at a loss as what to do. My granddaughter is 5 hour drive away not exactly easy to mange an afternoon visit and my husband and I feel accurate and timely information about our granddaughter is imperative for us to be involved and effectively supportive. How much should we expect communication from the treatment team. Our daughter does not always inform us of incidents that are very concerning.
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Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders
Swimmy55
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Relationship status: Estranged
Posts: 809



« Reply #1 on: January 24, 2020, 11:38:19 AM »

It is heartbreaking to be cut off from family .  Here are things for your consideration  and without any blame to you :
1. Did the residential facility actually state to you that your questions are excessive and demanding?    In my particular case, my son had to be in a residential facility at 15 years old.    Even though I was his mother , there were times I couldn't talk to him or call him depending on what therapy he was undergoing.  There was even a time he stopped speaking to me and would not take my calls or any visits ( not saying this is the case with your granddaughter).  Sometimes we have to let the process play out. 
2.As far as how much the treatment team will contact you, it is usually up to the family and treatment team together.  There are usually family meetings with the Dr. and Social worker,etc every couple of months or so and this is usually discussed there.  They may have decided for her sake her parents only are the main contact for now.  It gets re evaluated as time goes on. 
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