New member here...desperate for help

[Nikafee]

My daughter has not officially been diagnosed (she is 17) but more than 2 professionals have recently brought up borderline personality disorder and I'm now researching.  After reading the symptoms, it sounds like she could have.  The book "stop walking on eggshells" was recommended to me just yesterday and I immediately bought it on audible because the title resonated with me so much.  The introduction in that book has landed me here and I'm ready to absorb as much information as possible so I can learn to COPE and co-exist with my daughter.  I'm struggling and have wanted to give up being a mother many, MANY times.  Please tell me I'm not alone. 

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Bandiro]

Hi Nikafee,
You are not alone. I am also new here and my 18YO daughter has also not been officially diagnosed (that I know of - she does see a therapist but doesn't share what they talk about), but I believe and my therapist believes she has BPD. I am also doing a lot of research and just ordered the book "Stop walking on Eggshells". Coping and co-existing are also my goals now, but I am hopeful for a better long term outlook with therapy for both of us! I really don't have any advice (and you didn't ask for any), but I just wanted to let you know you are not alone.

[Harri]

Hi Nikafee and

You definitely are not alone and have found a place where parents and grandparents come to talk and share about their experiences and learn new and better ways of coping.  I am glad you found us.

The book Stop Walking on Eggshells is good to read.  You may also want to read Loving Someone With Borderline Personality Disorder by Shari Manning


Can you tell us more about your struggles with your daughter's behaviors and does and does not work for you in terms of coping?  These relationships are very difficult and a lot of what we do and say naturally can come off as invalidating to our pwBPD (person with BPD) which can make situations worse.  I am not saying that to blame you though.  None of the ways of responding to and understanding BPD behavior is intuitive. 

Before we can help someone else though, we have to get better at managing and coping with our own emotions.  I hope you share more about your situation and experiences as we all work together to understand and improve the ways we cope and interact with our loved ones.

Again, welcome.