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Author Topic: Had to ask son to leave our house  (Read 604 times)
Sadmomma2
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Relationship status: Recently estranged
Posts: 2


« on: January 27, 2020, 11:28:23 PM »

Hi. I am looking for support and wisdom from those who have been in my shoes.
Last week we had to ask our BPD 38 year old son to leave our house. He moved from Los Angeles back to our home town last June with his wife. Things were rocky and she also suffers from mental illness. They split in august when he kicked her out of their rental place. He had lost his job and she wasn’t working.  This was the beginning of a downward spiral where he attempted suicide.
We got through that crisis and said he could live with us while divorce proceedings were going on, by that he had to seek counseling. He did so and was diagnosed as BPD. It has been a difficult past 5 months and we thought he was making some progress but the past 3 weeks showed us that he has no ability to take responsibility for his own actions.  My husband, his dad, has been really patient but last week things got heated when our son refused to change the narrative of his life and see that the universe is not conspiring against him and that he was responsible for the choices he makes, and the subsequent consequences. 
After hours of arguing where my husband lost his temper and clenched his fists, our son said he didn’t feel safe with us, so my husband said he should leave.  He is now living in his car, posting all sorts of stuff on social media, and has no job.
We feel this is the right step at this time yet I am so saddened this has transpired, and I am grieving.
I pray constantly that he would be safe and that there will be some others who could help him.
I guess I need to hear from other parents who have gone, or are going through similar situations. Thanks
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Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders
FaithHopeLove
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Relationship status: Shaky
Posts: 1606



« Reply #1 on: January 28, 2020, 10:58:41 AM »

Hello Sadmomma. Welcome to the group. I am glad to meet you and sorry for the circumstances. I can totally relate to your situation. We had to ask our 25 year old BPD son to leave the house because he was using and selling drugs there. He is now facing jail time which is another sadness. What brings me peace of mind is radical acceptance and the realization that this is my son's life journey. I can't walk it for him. I only can love him and pray for the best.
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Sadmomma2
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Relationship status: Recently estranged
Posts: 2


« Reply #2 on: January 28, 2020, 12:03:09 PM »

Thanks for the response. I feel so alone in this situation and it is nice to know others have experienced the terrible pain and guilt associated with cutting off contact.  I remind myself everyday that this his life journey and I need to let him go to follow his own path. The sorrow is still fresh.
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