BPD ex trying to get custody

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

My ex has bpd along with almost all comorbid disorders and after I checked her into a psychiatric hospital she stopped talking to half way through. I learned she was released on the second to her mother who she told me was incredibly abusive. I almost lost my job and schooling because of this and she knew that. she then got an order of protection against me, claiming I was physically abusive, emotionally abusive, held her down and forced her to have sex and was emotionally abusive to our young child. going on to say I was a great father right after that. I wasn't home and went and got a order of protection against her. her was a tribal one, mine was state. I gave her the chance to defend herself against it and she said she would and then did not show up. then the day of my tribal court appearance she called it off and her writ of protection was quashed twice. after that she didn't show up at the next hearing after calling to say she would but was just late, never made her declaration either, and my restraining order became a year. but after that we shared a family album and I kept her on it to see our son, but she uploaded pictures she knew would well everything me. pictures of bad people she said would never be around holding him and other things I didn't know. i kept it up still because it seemed mean to tear away her last link. but then she made an ultimatum saying she would tear it down, because my mom posted a picture of me with a caption saying how hard I'm working. so I kicked her off. she's been partying and posting nasty things including pictures of herself on social media. and saying she is going to fight like hell to get our son back. I don't know why these things are happening. she wouldn't work so I paid for everything, she stole (a lot) and I forgave it, she backstabbed me over and over. moved out  and then came back when she was kicked out. I even told her I would help her get her own place. and she said she was worried about becoming her mother and tried to abandon our son multiple times. broke down and ran away and I brought her back and told her if she ever was a bad mother I would take him. then she did exactly what she swore she would never do immediately and is just like her. and now she wants him apparently. she's around bad people that make her do bad things, and she never even said a word to me since the last day we talked when she  was in the psychiatrics hospital. since then I learned a lot more things, like cheating, failing college and not signing up...etc. and the last time we talked she got mad at me since I said she would have to work if she wasn't in school, because I got a new job last time she left so I could go, and I couldn't afford all the extra costs without her daycare discount. apparently she planned going in there well in advance to get out of some responsibilities and so i wouldn't find out a couple things she did. she went in because she wanted to kill our child and herself and started pinching him and maybe worse. I made immediate arrangements at that point to get her in. she had a couple different therapists but wouldn't ever keep going to one for long and I figured this would work. in her writ she put in that I shouldn't have the child since I work and am in school. and she wanted to take him to were very bad things happened to her. but I don't actually think she loves him knowing what I know now. I think he is a pretty ring to her. so I don't understand when she has the freedom she wants why fight? she filled her papers with the weirdest or most bald face lies. just so she could get him and hurt him? I don't understand what she's thinking and the silence frightens me. she cannot have him but I feel powerless at the courts mercy and I know she will through everything at me she can. my lawyers are good, and her not showing this far, along with her medical records are in my favor, but I'm still worried and have no idea why she did this or what she could possibly be thinking. I mean if I'm so horrible why did her parenting plan say I'm I great but abusive father who should have split custody. nothing is adding up here. it all seems to go back and forth. I wouldn't let her leave but she already left, then I offered to pay for a place for her. I left the album up but apparently she doesn't want to see the child that she wants. I don't know what to expect next in this. it just doesn't make sense.

[fawlty tower]

My ex has bpd along with almost all comorbid disorders and after I checked her into a psychiatric hospital she stopped talking to half way through. I learned she was released on the second to her mother who she told me was incredibly abusive. I almost lost my job and schooling because of this and she knew that. she then got an order of protection against me, claiming I was physically abusive, emotionally abusive, held her down and forced her to have sex and was emotionally abusive to our young child. going on to say I was a great father right after that. I wasn't home and went and got a order of protection against her. her was a tribal one, mine was state. I gave her the chance to defend herself against it and she said she would and then did not show up. then the day of my tribal court appearance she called it off and her writ of protection was quashed twice. after that she didn't show up at the next hearing after calling to say she would but was just late, never made her declaration either, and my restraining order became a year. but after that we shared a family album and I kept her on it to see our son, but she uploaded pictures she knew would well everything me. pictures of bad people she said would never be around holding him and other things I didn't know. i kept it up still because it seemed mean to tear away her last link. but then she made an ultimatum saying she would tear it down, because my mom posted a picture of me with a caption saying how hard I'm working. so I kicked her off. she's been partying and posting nasty things including pictures of herself on social media. and saying she is going to fight like hell to get our son back. I don't know why these things are happening. she wouldn't work so I paid for everything, she stole (a lot) and I forgave it, she backstabbed me over and over. moved out  and then came back when she was kicked out. I even told her I would help her get her own place. and she said she was worried about becoming her mother and tried to abandon our son multiple times. broke down and ran away and I brought her back and told her if she ever was a bad mother I would take him. then she did exactly what she swore she would never do immediately and is just like her. and now she wants him apparently. she's around bad people that make her do bad things, and she never even said a word to me since the last day we talked when she  was in the psychiatrics hospital. since then I learned a lot more things, like cheating, failing college and not signing up...etc. and the last time we talked she got mad at me since I said she would have to work if she wasn't in school, because I got a new job last time she left so I could go, and I couldn't afford all the extra costs without her daycare discount. apparently she planned going in there well in advance to get out of some responsibilities and so i wouldn't find out a couple things she did. she went in because she wanted to kill our child and herself and started pinching him and maybe worse. I made immediate arrangements at that point to get her in. she had a couple different therapists but wouldn't ever keep going to one for long and I figured this would work. in her writ she put in that I shouldn't have the child since I work and am in school. and she wanted to take him to were very bad things happened to her. but I don't actually think she loves him knowing what I know now. I think he is a pretty ring to her. so I don't understand when she has the freedom she wants why fight? she filled her papers with the weirdest or most bald face lies. just so she could get him and hurt him? I don't understand what she's thinking and the silence frightens me. she cannot have him but I feel powerless at the courts mercy and I know she will through everything at me she can. my lawyers are good, and her not showing this far, along with her medical records are in my favor, but I'm still worried and have no idea why she did this or what she could possibly be thinking. I mean if I'm so horrible why did her parenting plan say I'm I great but abusive father who should have split custody. nothing is adding up here. it all seems to go back and forth. I wouldn't let her leave but she already left, then I offered to pay for a place for her. I left the album up but apparently she doesn't want to see the child that she wants. I don't know what to expect next in this. it just doesn't make sense.

[worriedStepmom]

No, none of it makes any sense to us.  When someone has a mental illness like BPD, their thinking process is messed up.

My SD12's uBPDmom says she wants SD more ... but she brings SD back early most weeks.  She doesn't see any contradiction in those two facts.

You have good lawyers and a lot of evidence in your favor.  That's a good thing!  They can handle court and making sure you keep your child.  That means you can focus on making yourself the healthiest version of you possible.  It's HARD dealing with the ups and downs of someone with BPD.

What are you doing for yourself?  Do you see a therapist?  Are you taking time to exercise and to get enough sleep?

[KingofTexas37891]

Do not blame yourself.

Every BPD persons thinks in white and black. For her there is no grey area between good and bad. After a break-up you are her new enemy #1.

Just get over this and secure proper written custody arrangements and parenting plan.