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Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits. Practicing lawyer, Senior Family Mediator, and former Licensed Clinical Social Worker with twelve years’ experience and an expert on navigating the Family Court process.
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Author Topic: Texted him..Feeling stupid right now  (Read 364 times)
Lulu1

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Broken up
Posts: 31


« on: February 20, 2020, 07:45:48 AM »

Hiya Guys, I need some advice. Eurgh I feel so silly! It’s been 4 months since the guy I was dating (bpd) and I went separate ways. 3 months since we last spoke.
Something reminded me on Tuesday of his young child and I messaged him. Didn’t say it warranted a reply or anything. Just wanted to make sure he was ok. (Why I'd care I don’t know) 5 mins later he replied; Civil. Said ‘thanks for reaching out’ and added a kiss and a photo of his kid & him.
We exchanged a few messages then that was it. I didn’t get the ‘reaching out’ part. Sounds almost like he was expecting a text some day, as if I was in the wrong ? I've heard nothing since..
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Lucky Jim
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 6211


« Reply #1 on: February 20, 2020, 05:11:07 PM »

Hey Lulu, Don't beat yourself up!  Next time, maybe you could pause before texting and look at your feelings in a mindful way before acting on them.  What would you like to see happen?  Are you ready to move on or would you be interested in a recycle?  It's your call.

LuckyJim
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    A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.
George Bernard Shaw
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Divorced and now happily remarried.
Posts: 1389


The surest way to fail is to never try.


« Reply #2 on: February 20, 2020, 06:38:22 PM »

Hey Lulu, Don't beat yourself up!  Next time, maybe you could pause before texting and look at your feelings in a mindful way before acting on them.  What would you like to see happen?  Are you ready to move on or would you be interested in a recycle?  It's your call.

LuckyJim

Ditto - wouldn't change a word of this advice from LJ
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gizmocasci
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 72


« Reply #3 on: February 20, 2020, 10:12:13 PM »

Ditto - wouldn't change a word of this advice from LJ

This!

Sending you love and hugs.
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cosmical
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: online dating
Posts: 55


« Reply #4 on: February 21, 2020, 09:44:25 AM »

I reached out too with a similar message. I convinced myself that I was just being caring, but infact I was looking for an opening to get some answers/closure. Have to try really hard to be honest with yourself.
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ArtistGuy70
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 856


« Reply #5 on: March 02, 2020, 06:22:59 AM »

My heart aches for you. I've been there. Don't beat yourself up over it. Learn from it and say, okay that was my last text. Be kind to yourself.
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Forgiveness
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 108



« Reply #6 on: March 02, 2020, 09:26:46 AM »

I would add that "Thanks for reaching out" is a normal response that a normal non-BPD person would make. It means thanks for reaching out, that is all.
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