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Author Topic: Texted him..Feeling stupid right now  (Read 582 times)
Lulu1

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Broken up
Posts: 31


« on: February 20, 2020, 07:45:48 AM »

Hiya Guys, I need some advice. Eurgh I feel so silly! It’s been 4 months since the guy I was dating (bpd) and I went separate ways. 3 months since we last spoke.
Something reminded me on Tuesday of his young child and I messaged him. Didn’t say it warranted a reply or anything. Just wanted to make sure he was ok. (Why I'd care I don’t know) 5 mins later he replied; Civil. Said ‘thanks for reaching out’ and added a kiss and a photo of his kid & him.
We exchanged a few messages then that was it. I didn’t get the ‘reaching out’ part. Sounds almost like he was expecting a text some day, as if I was in the wrong ? I've heard nothing since..
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Lucky Jim
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 6211


« Reply #1 on: February 20, 2020, 05:11:07 PM »

Hey Lulu, Don't beat yourself up!  Next time, maybe you could pause before texting and look at your feelings in a mindful way before acting on them.  What would you like to see happen?  Are you ready to move on or would you be interested in a recycle?  It's your call.

LuckyJim
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    A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.
George Bernard Shaw
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Divorced
Posts: 984


The surest way to fail is to never try.


« Reply #2 on: February 20, 2020, 06:38:22 PM »

Hey Lulu, Don't beat yourself up!  Next time, maybe you could pause before texting and look at your feelings in a mindful way before acting on them.  What would you like to see happen?  Are you ready to move on or would you be interested in a recycle?  It's your call.

LuckyJim

Ditto - wouldn't change a word of this advice from LJ
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gizmocasci
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 72


« Reply #3 on: February 20, 2020, 10:12:13 PM »

Ditto - wouldn't change a word of this advice from LJ

This!

Sending you love and hugs.
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cosmical
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: online dating
Posts: 55


« Reply #4 on: February 21, 2020, 09:44:25 AM »

I reached out too with a similar message. I convinced myself that I was just being caring, but infact I was looking for an opening to get some answers/closure. Have to try really hard to be honest with yourself.
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ArtistGuy70
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 856


« Reply #5 on: March 02, 2020, 06:22:59 AM »

My heart aches for you. I've been there. Don't beat yourself up over it. Learn from it and say, okay that was my last text. Be kind to yourself.
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Forgiveness
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What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 108



« Reply #6 on: March 02, 2020, 09:26:46 AM »

I would add that "Thanks for reaching out" is a normal response that a normal non-BPD person would make. It means thanks for reaching out, that is all.
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