desperately seeking advice regarding 21 year old daughter

[In Deep]

I am desperately seeking advise, my daughter 21 adopted for Kazakhstan at 1 year has been over the years hospitalized, in and out of therapy and medications, went thru a nasty divorce by someone who was verbally abusive after 10 years of marriage and she continues to manipulate me control me and I have come running to bail her out over and over! I stayed single for over 10 years dealing with her constant abuse and bailing her out over and over! Two years ago I met a man who is kind generous and loving and he keeps telling me that I need to get control of my life, in the last 1 year and 1/2 she least a full scholarship to a private college in the area, got a DWI, I have had to pick her up from the police station because she was tossed out of her boy friends car and lost her car and license for driving w/ o insurance! I keep talking to her up until now like nothing is wrong, my boyfriend who I just moved in with in November is ready to blow doesn’t trust me because I’ve covered and lied so much he doesn’t believe a word I say and I get it! I have a therapist who just suggested the book Stop Walking on Egg shells and I’m her now!
I was out of town last week and just before I got a long text from my daughter manipulating me again after days before I told her it had to stop!

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[jeanoc]

I am so sorry, I know exactly how that feels. It is a real struggle.  I came clean last night to my husband about our bpd 19year old daughter. I have been bailing her out too but he takes things difficultly.  She is my step-daughter but I adopted her.  He gets very possessive over her and doesn't see or deal with all the drama with her.  My advice is to be honest as much as possible about your BPD with your significant other. It will back fire if you don't. I know how the BPD can make you feel so guilty and I am guilty of enabling also.