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Author Topic: How to support my BPD son  (Read 357 times)
Matthias
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Relationship status: Lives with his mother
Posts: 1


« on: March 26, 2020, 08:50:04 PM »

My 21 year old son has been in therapy (CBT, wilderness, DBT) and on myriad psychiatric drugs for depression and anxiety for several years.  Over the past few months he has been receiving ECT treatments.  He is now in another DBT program, which is a more comprehensive program than in the past, as this program features a private therapist, diary cards, group sessions, and telephone support.  He’s been in this latest DBT program about 3 weeks now, but already he is speaking much the same language as in the past. He continues to doubt his ability, motivation to put in the required work to give him a shot at moving forward.  When he and I speak about this I am often at a loss as to what to say.  I continue to tell him that I am here for him, and will support him in whatever way I can, but that ultimately it is up to him to learn and use the skills.  I am considering bringing a coach/mentor on board to help him between his once-per-week individual and group DBT sessions, but these programs are almost never covered, in whole or in part by insurance.  Any advice or suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
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Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders
Swimmy55
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Relationship status: Estranged
Posts: 809



« Reply #1 on: March 27, 2020, 10:48:13 AM »

Hi Matthias,
The good news here is that your adult son is agreeing to seek help and that is huge.  You are supporting him all you can.
If he is willing to go with coaching / mentoring and you can afford this for a time, then by all means it is worth a try.  I would caution to put in as much money as your son is willing to do the work/ follow the coach's directions.

Not sure if this is the coaching you were talking about , but In my particular case, my son ran through 2 job coaches/ mentors i paid for.  He refused therapy ( he was 24-25 at the time) so I tried this as a last ditch effort.  The  second job coach    removed himself and stated to me  he can't in good conscience waste any more of my money on his services as my son was not motivated .  Son could not follow through and pretty much sabotaged  a great potential job offer.    I would keep a sharp eye . You could probably check in with the coach on your son's progress since they don't fall under HIPPA , that is one positive.

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