How do the kids seem now that they're with you?
About like they always seem on a weekend... minor bickering with each other (they are 14 and almost 12, so yeah), but generally cooperative, funny, compliant, helpful, etc. SD11 still not super open, but did share snuggles with DH and asked me for help going to sleep, so I had her "give herself a pat on the back" for asking for what she needed. SD14 wants to work on not self censoring around us, so she did make a couple of provocative statements, and I tried to engage as best I could. She is now generally super affectionate with DH and always wants to be with him, so that's good.
For BPD sufferers in my life, the flip side of being prone to drama is the desire to be soothed. "Here is the drama. Soothe me."
Interesting. That could be going on -- "validate my response to this crisis" would be the flavor I'm getting from Mom. Stepdad took two weeks off of work: "That validates my fears about the crisis". DH and I did not (could not) take time off of work: "You're not doing what I need you to do. I would be more comfortable if everybody did what I wanted".
The virus is not a relationship so cannot be addressed with her primitive skills, so she uses it as backdrop in which her more go-to methods can be applied, like relationship conflicts.
Sounds about right. Trying to position people in a controlling/manipulative way in order to manage fears that cannot otherwise be dealt with, because there's no executive function skill set. So, if the "virus concern" can be translated into "emotional relationship concern", then it is manageable. Because she has emotional manipulation skills.
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DH said that when he went to pick the kids up on Friday, Mom/Stepdad weren't friendly/chatty (the mask) as usual.
Guess who cancelled his 2 weeks off of work... I guess it wasn't that important?
It would not surprise me if there is going to be resentment in the air at Mom's: "we could have had this nice time off together if it wasn't for your dad" type stuff. Not much we can do about it.
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I told DH David's story about how his kids' mom tells them that he is the #2 pot distributor in his metro area. That over time, because she keeps doubling down on her assertions, they have come to see how crazy those statements are. I told DH that I though the kids' mom is kind of like that -- that her move is to keep doubling down on her position no matter what. Hopefully one day the kids see what's going on.
