Re establishing contact

[Parents! Get help here!]

Hi this is my first post , I have been no contact for 6 months with my adult daughter who I believe has Bpd / npd . I had a nervous breakdown and was told to step  away and look after myself by the doctor .This I did and slowly with help and felt a little better . From the day I told her I was unwell I didn’t hear anything from her personally only her friend .i sent xmas cards to her and my two grandchildren and birthday card to my granddaughter and had no response , have text them all and got no reply .I have just sent Easter cards to them all n eggs to the children and receive a text saying she has received them and is confused . Thought I didn’t care . I really don’t   know how to proceed  I want them to know. I Love them , and would love contact with my grandchildren obviously but I am very wary as I feel I don’t want to go back into a toxic relationship with my daughter . Any guidance would be really appreciated

[Leona]

Hi this is my first post , I have been no contact for 6 months with my adult daughter who I believe has Bpd / npd . I had a nervous breakdown and was told to step  away and look after myself by the doctor .This I did and slowly with help and felt a little better . From the day I told her I was unwell I didn’t hear anything from her personally only her friend .i sent xmas cards to her and my two grandchildren and birthday card to my granddaughter and had no response , have text them all and got no reply .I have just sent Easter cards to them all n eggs to the children and receive a text saying she has received them and is confused . Thought I didn’t care . I really don’t   know how to proceed  I want them to know. I Love them , and would love contact with my grandchildren obviously but I am very wary as I feel I don’t want to go back into a toxic relationship with my daughter . Any guidance would be really appreciated

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Swimmy55]

Hi Leona and welcome,
 It is heartbreaking to want contact with the grandkids but the parent has BPD .  The thing to keep focus on is you though.  I am not sure if your doctor is a therapist? If so , it would be good to work on a strategy for communication with the therapist.  This is what I am doing in my own situation as my son contacted me after restraining order expired.   In the meantime, sending texts to the grandkids ( do they have their own phone or is it hers) is a good way to keep in touch.  Even if they don't answer back, they know you love them.