I hope you don't mind my venting, but found out that stbx accused me of mentally harming our eldest out of nowhere. I was able to quickly disprove his specific claims, but it was so hurtful. And considering he assaulted me in front of the kids and has done before and was verbally abusive on a daily. Also, he didn't tell his new lawyer about the criminal case at all or the withdraw of funds. Luckily after having this virtual conference my lawyer fully understood why I was pushing for custody, no visitation, only using counselors who are familiar with bpd, my stbx getting evaluated for sobriety and mental health before I even consider visitation, etc. She agreed with me about his behavior and claims showing that he is not in a good place. I am dumbfounded at how I even feel surprised anymore and it's still early days. I am having a lot of personal feelings of having been in an entirely different marriage for the last 16 years than he was in and wonder if he ever felt anything for me. At least I am truly seeing the depth and consequence of my own self-delusion and co-dependent helper personality. On the positive side, I am trusting my lawyer, she understood me, and is understanding who we are dealing with more and more. On the downside, I feel like i was living in a complete delusion for the better part of two decades and have no idea the depths he will go to when desperate.
