Daughter(s) with bpd

[Helpme567]

 
 My oldest daughter (20 yrs old) has bpd.  She becomes emotionally abusive to me and it’s just so hard.  I’m afraid that my 18 year old daughter also has bpd and she can be emotionally abusive as well.  My ex-husband/their father has narcissistic personality disorder.  I constantly feel like a failure. 

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Modesty68]

Hi there!
It is so much you can do to learn more and educate yourself about BPD. And I KNOW it will help. Our family is NOT AT ALL perfect, and my D still don't want to get any help. But still it helps me a lot to know t.ex. that she is suffering (from older traumas, that can differ from person to person), and that she is not mean - but suffering a lot. Her tantrums is as bad for her, that they are to me. And so on.

The first book I read was Valerie Porr's Overcoming Borderline - and I still recommende it to everyone! Online you will find people that are getting well/are coping much better with their life - and that also gives a lot of hope.

But of course I also still is devastated each time my daughter is getting angry with me for no apparent reason. Best of luck!