Shaken, without that luxury of distance things have deteriorated.

[ortac77]

So by way of an update my pwBPD saw the psychiatrist last week and whilst still being sure he has BPD she is fairly certain (I know that psychiatry is far from an exact science) that he is also bi-polar and that anti - psychotic medication is required. He has been on quite a strong dosage for a week now and is very out of sorts, mainly uncoordinated and slow but during the night had an anxiety attack and was very distressed verging on suicidal, though I managed to get him calmed down.

We have a call booked to the psychiatrist tomorrow after talking to the Dr just now, I am assuming it takes some time for the body to adapt to these drugs so hoping this is a temporary reaction. I am ok but tired after a sleepless night!

My partner is on Quietapine - I don't know if anyone here has experienced the use of this drug?

[formflier]

Personally...I've had a reaction to "flowmax" (one of those drugs that helps guys pee more consistently).  I would take the pill and then sitting down doing nothing, my heart rate would go up over 30 beats per minute.  That drug is now listed in my medication as something I'm "allergic" to.

It's not listed on the common side effects but apparently does happen to some people.

We give drugs to my 3rd grade daughter for ADD and she started having tummy aches.  Well, a new drug was supposed to protect her tummy.  We tried it once and she had a MASSIVE anxiety attack at school.  We had to go pick her up and take her to the doctor.

Anyway...I say all this to say that docs have an idea of how drugs are supposed to work, but sometimes they do odd things.

I would help your pwBPD with a diary (or at least keep your own) of what you see and hear from him.

Don't be surprised if there are several medication changes until he gets stable.

Best,

FF

[formflier]

https://www.webmd.com/drugs/2/drug-4689-8274/quetiapine-oral/quetiapine-oral/details


An anxiety attack is listed as a "serious" side effect.  You did the right thing by contacting the doc.

Am I correct that the you have been gradually increasing the dosage?

Best,

FF

[ortac77]

So by way of an update. Things have been somewhat bumpy over the past couple of months and he has now been on an increasing dosage of medication albeit there is an inconsistency on how regularly he takes it. His sleep pattern is still  erratic and his moods consequently variable.

After the initial consultation with the therapist he agreed to therapy but this has been delayed (Covid) but we finally had an appointment planned today. He is now refusing to go, sadly I think this was predictable given his history.

Its less that he does not accept he is ill, rather that he is 'incurable' so what's the point, he is also on a bit of a 'god' trip - statements along the lines that god created me this way, he will decide for me - this is a new thing and he has never really talked this way before.


I have spoken to the therapist and am meeting her myself, I think this will be useful to me in clarifying my thoughts and feelings on the matter as therapy was effectively my 'bottom line' on whether I could continue this relationship.

I am trying not to react to things at the moment, rather seek advice and find a way of responding given that I am very aware that continuing along the lines of coping with his constant mood swings is and will affect my own well being

Ortac

[Cat Familiar]

It’s helpful to get to the point where we fully see exactly who the person we are involved with...is.

It sounds as if you’ve arrived at that point.

Setting aside wishful thinking and hopes for improvement, which may or may not happen, this is who we’re in relationship with, and the question is “Do we wish to continue on this path?”

The choice hinges upon if we are willing to fully accept them as they are, what difficulties they bring to our lives, and relinquish any magical thinking that they will return to being the person we initially fell in love with.

It’s a simple yes and no question, but so difficult to answer.

[ortac77]

Hi Cat,

As you say a simple yes/no question but so difficult to answer.

I think to be fair it has been made more difficult by my own circumstances changing (retirement) which I always knew would be a difficult adjustment for me but even more so given the impact of Covid 19 which has meant many of my plans have been curtailed, at least for now.

I know I need help with my own sense of frustration and feeling 'stuck' before I can make better decisions going forward

Ortac