New to the site, everyone flicks to her, but no one stays.

[Mama J]

I have only recently been able to put a name to what has been haunting my child for many years - BPD.  There is no doubt that she is suffering from BPD, and yes, I do mean suffering.  She can not keep friends/boyfriends.  She is an exceptionally beautiful, intelligent, and talented 22 year old and everyone flicks to her, but no one stays.  I am here to gain a better understanding of how BPD affects her and how my reactions are improving or damaging the situation.  I hope to find friends here and support from people who truly understand.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Swimmy55]

Welcome! You are in the right place.  Have a look around the forum  and at other posts ( you can click on a name and you can read their posts). There is a "library" here that has book recommendations.  One popular one is "Stop Walking on Eggshells" .  The first thing you will learn is the best way to help our adult BPD child is to help ourselves first.  Please continue to write back to us.  Does your daughter live with you?

[Thanks]

Hi, Mama J,
So many of us have been there and are still going through the process. One thing that's very encouraging is the success rate in treatment for BPD people, most especially if the family is involved in their lives. It's really hard, but hang in there; I have found the advice in the books and online to be very helpful in relating to my BPD adult daughter. The message from the research is: don't give up. In my case, it has really helped to first acknowledge my daughter's feelings (even if we disagree) and then share mine in a low-key way. It helps us get past the first hurdles - and then we can talk a little and also I can hold my boundaries.
Good luck! You're not alone.