Hi in2it
Welcome to the group.
I am sorry your family is going thru this, I can relate. My story is around here if you feel like reading the background.
The BPD in my life is my DIL, and my son usually does not act any better.
My son is in court now on abuse and neglect charges for my older grandson and this is not the first time.
I also had moments of thinking things were getting better, but it never lasts. Prepare yourself for that, but hope for the best, people can change.
My grandson is placed out of the home again, his mother (not my DIL, another story) would not agree to let me have him but CPS disagrees. They are talking to me about permanency with me, which they have done before and they seem pretty serious about it now. (It's a different kind of case than it was before and they can do different things now.)
You may find yourself in that position. Weigh all the pros and cons. I am having a visit tomorrow, grandparents usually are allowed to visit, they want a support system for the children.
Wishing you the best, you aren't alone.
E22