I am not alone-here you all are

[Candace50]

Greetings.  A family member shared this site with me, encouraging me to see that I am not alone.  It is hard to live with confusion let alone the pain of a hurting child who hurts others, of being in a family where silence is kindness and speaking reality out load is unloving/unkind/causing the problem. 

What am I seeking?  Wisdom, knowledge, balance, boundaries, a way to love (if there is one) in the face of so much anger/hatred/abuse.

My reading has led to a family tree search.  I think this BPD is all over both sides of our tree along with Asperger's, Dyslexia, and Anxiety Disorders.  My whole life I focused on drinking/addiction as our family pothole.  Now, I suspect mental health issues are the drivers for alcohol and drugs.  Maybe that is an oversimplification.  Anyway, hello. And thanks for being here.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Naughty Nibbler]

My reading has led to a family tree search.  I think this BPD is all over both sides of our tree along with Asperger's, Dyslexia, and Anxiety Disorders.  My whole life I focused on drinking/addiction as our family pothole.  Now, I suspect mental health issues are the drivers for alcohol and drugs.  Maybe that is an oversimplification.  Anyway, hello. And thanks for being here.

Hi Candace50:
I tend to agree with your logic.  I believe that genetics plays a big part in mental health issues.  From that point, how an individual deals with the cards they are dealt, can make a big difference in the outcome.  Those who don't get help or resist treatment and/or counseling, tend to use unhealthy ways to self-soothe, such as alcohol and drugs.   

Abuse & environment can be a factor, but you can't discount that the abusers are dealing with mental illness and that their children could be dealing with genetics alone or genetics & abuse.