Another crisis part 2

[formflier]

Hey...catch me up to speed one more time.

The purpose of the Thursday doctor visit is?  Is it a second opinion or another visit with the same guy?

Bloodwork being off the main issue?

Obviously being there is the best option, but via phone or video is acceptable.

I would practice using the phrase "rule out". 

It's one thing for a doctor to say "sounds like stress from bad work situation".  It's another thing for him to "rule out" (fill in the blank...and you have several blanks)

You also have to realize (unfortunately) that hubby may not have been as forthcoming with his doctor as he has let on, so doctor may not want to come out gunbs blazin to rule out all kinds of stuff

Think about this from the doctors point of view.  If he has never heard of this before he will likely want to take 1 or 2 steps rather than go full bore.

And that's ok. 

However, I would ask doctor what a reasonable course of treatment/investigation looks like, especially if this keeps happening.

Can you create a timeline of how many times he has "been fired"? 

Anyway..trying to think outloud a bit here..so somehow this thing gets moved to a better place.

Best,

FF

[Ozzie101]

The purpose is to find out why he’s gaining weight/weight is fluctuating. That’s the primary concern in his mind. He made that appointment before he even went in to his PCP for bloodwork, certain he wouldn’t give him good answers.

I do have questions — like what could be causing all this? What do we do about it? And I think the Thursday doc should know about the emotional/mental issues as well.

Fired? Only three times, I think. Other instances of forgetting or getting things totally wrong, though.

[formflier]

Ok..good idea to spend some time tonight getting your details and recollections right.

Fired how many times and when.  How long before he "remembered" correctly.

Same thing with the other issues.

I'm still a bit confused.  So this Thursday doc is not his PCP..right?

So is it second opinion or a specialist?

Did PCP refer him?

Best,

FF

[Ozzie101]

Second opinion. Not a specialist or referral. She’s not his PCP.

[I Am Redeemed]

I think it may be entirely possible that he is so fearful of getting fired that he convinces himself it actually happened, or he projects that it will happen and takes it on as fact.

My ex did similar things. It was usually a projection of what he thought was happening or would happen.

He also remembered specific details about conversations that absolutely never happened, or attributed actions to people that were simply not factual.

Incidentally, he was diagnosed with depression with psychotic features. It's a real thing and it may or may not be comorbid with BPD. I never knew if it was a co-occurring disorder or a misdiagnosis.

[Ozzie101]

That’s interesting, Redeemed.

I do think he’s terrified of being fired. There’s a lot of fear under his ranting. One of the other things he’ll rage about and hurl accusations about is me. He’ll insist he wants a divorce. That I’m leaving him. That I want to leave him. That I don’t care. But one of his biggest fears is that I will leave. So I do think there’s projection or his fears “coming to life” in his episodes.

It really is so hard to know what’s going on.

[Cat Familiar]

This thread has reached its maximum length and is now locked. The conversation continues here: https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=345582.0