Waking up rants

[Sancho]

I am trying to work out whether the rage that BPDD goes into when woken up in the morning is due to her BPD or perhaps connected to substance withdrawal? Does anyone else have to tiptoe around in the morning to avoid this sort of thing happening?

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[wendydarling]

Perhaps it may be either Sancho.  I know when my DD was very ill, just waking up to a new day was overwhelming, and that's without substance withdrawal. She's never ranted, she's a 'quiet borderline' - internal rather than external. DD is a recovering pwBPD, she's done the work and continues to learn.  Interestingly the other afternoon she said she woke up angry, she felt angry all day and then realised it was sadness she was feeling. What are the primary emotions behind anger? It is our internal response to external stressors. Common emotions known to trigger anger are anxiety, shame, sadness, fear, frustration, guilt, disappointment, worry, embarrassment, jealousy, and hurt. All of these emotions are experienced as negative and are perceived as threatening to our well-being.

What's your DD saying when she rants? Is there a trend?

WDx

[Sancho]

Thanks WD for your comments - especially reminding me of the primary emotions that trigger anger. When this happens, DD almost looks as though she is half asleep, and I wonder if it is to do with being woken in the REM cycle. She is very abusive, especially towards me, slams doors etc. Around 11am she seems to be able to wake up herself without being in this state. It does make life very complicated! So pleased your DD has made such progress! At the moment no chance of that here, as she won't try or stick to anything - or listen to any even tiny suggestion.

[wendydarling]

Sancho, yes waking mid REM, people can experience what's sometimes referred to as sleep drunkenness. Studies have shown, for some it may trigger mood disorder that leads to day time depression, low self esteem...… you get the picture. Does your DD ever talk, complain about her sleep, that she struggles sleeping well, dreams prolifically, disturbing dreams?

You posted this in another thread, I can imagine your DD feels this regularly.

One thing that helps me sometimes is remembering a couple of occasions usually when we are driving somewhere as that seems to soothe her, she has said a few times something like 'I hate it when I do that' ie the abusive outburst.

I'm trying to get a measure of your DD.  What are your DD's gifts? Despite her abusive behaviour she came home for what, a safe place, she see's you as safe, she trusts you?

I appreciate it's been a long, long haul for you and I get you she's not ready for change won't stick to anything and as you know well we can only change what's in our control, that can sometimes effect changes in others if and when they are ready.

WDx