I need to know I'm not alone

[Compassion Only]

Hello out there!

I have a 31 year old daughter who suffers with Borderline Personality Disorder. She is married, in a PhD program and lives on the west coast. (I'm on the east coast.) She cut me off because I won't tell my boyfriend to move out. (We have a great relationship and I am very happy.) I have spent hours and hours and hours talking things through with her, listening to her, and reassuring her that I love her and will always be here for her. As you know, it's never enough.

Honestly, I am relieved to be cut off right now.

I NEED TO KNOW THAT THERE ARE OTHER PARENTS OUT THERE who know what it is like to have an adult child with BPD. I have a great support system and family, but no one understands. This makes me feel so alone. My son and his wife are starting to get it, but even they spend a lot of time being angry and sick of dealing with it.

Please let me know you understand what it is like.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Swimmy55]

We understand here.  It is great your daughter has achieved much with BPD  .  You also have a right to your own life without any explanations to your adult daughter.  You have the same rights as she does.

When you have time, click on any of our names to get our backstories .  We hope to hear from you again.

[Compassion Only]

 Thanks so much for responding. I'm still trying to figure all this out. (Boards I mean.)

Yes, I am grateful she is so high functioning. She also has a husband WHO IS A SAINT!

She has no friends and is convinced our entire extended family hates her even though they reach out to her constantly.

I will check out back stories if I can figure out how to do it.

[java919]

you're not alone
hear what ur saying, and i get feeling relief for a period of no contact with a child when the resentment or anger even tho unjustified seems so real in their mind

glad to read your daughter had a husband there for her, mayb its old fashioned but id give anything for my daughter to have a partner or husband to b able to stand by her
when things are not going well

hope u can take this time to recharge, and realize theres lots of us and we support
each other even when things are just overwhelming

my daughter is also on west coast in her 30s bpd, doing better than she did in her 20s and teens
but there are still times things escalate rapidly and i feel like have been run over by a truck...other times its a extended period of ping ponging emotionally for her
if its a situation like work conflict, or social settings which are hard for her

now with things closed, a job that suited her gone prob for good i am almost afraid to wake up each day

either way it can be exhausting, and most of the time for her it leads to more contact, more calls, more texts and i have to constantly step back and say i cant be available
24/7
sounds awful but sometimes i do wish she'd get angry or want to shut me out for a while ... any chance to just breathe would b welcome

stay healthy and dont ever think there isnt understanding out there for your situation

[Swimmy55]

To find out other back stories, just click onto a name.  You will see their previous posts.  This is very helpful. Along the top are drop down menus for some different tools to utilize ( communication, etc) to help the situation.