feel lost and helpless

[lorymac]

Hi to all
   i am writing to reach out to other parents of adult mentally ill children.
 i am burnt out , emotionally and physically. She manipulates me with cutting, threats of suicide, verbal abuse etc.
 System has failed , when threatened suicide in my home, i called 911, took her to psych er and released her because she said SHE IS JUST FINE> next day drank a half gallon of vodka and started roaming the  property, walking into someones house.
she got evicted and is now living in hotel.
 when i say i gave up my life for her, thats an understatement. 
 ok , enough for now, i hope i can connect with someone on here who gets it.
ts like I live in a world of my own and am ashamed of my life and starting to isolate.
   thanks for reading my post, good luck to all on here.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Sancho]

You've come to the right place lorimac to find people who 'get it'. Journeying with loved ones with BPD can so easily isolate you from others, and diminish the quality of your own life. This is the only place where I find others who do understand the constant stress, drama, and pain that is BPD, and who know that burnout stage when you have given everything you possibly can. I hope there are others here that can make suggestions that you may find helpful. I'm afraid I'm sort of in the same boat as you - so I'm just writing as someone who definitely understands!

[satahal]

I can relate to feeling overwhelmed. My daughter had her 32nd birthday recently. She seems to especially dip into depression on holidays. She responded to my well-wishes with lots of suicidal type statements about how she didn't want another birthday and wished she'd never been born. She lives 6000 miles away in a country I can't travel to because of quarantine restrictions.

I sometimes feel trying to keep her alive is selfish. I can't live without her but if she's this miserable with living, who am I to insist she continue? And the guilt I feel for my role in causing her BPD is enormous and unbearable at times. She and her therapist feel it was triggered by a move we made when she was small.